The previous cycle went really well. Planned intercourse for longer than deemed necessary, but in our case is, because I appear to be ovulating near cd21. I had high temps from cd22 to cd33, with cramping, tenderness, etc. Then Wednesday (dec. 16) my temps plummeted, I took a pregnancy test, (negative) and AF arrived shortly after lunch. I was a wreck that day. I know 11 days isn't long enough to know by temps and such but with the cramping, I thought this was finally it!
I think the worst part of it all, was feeling so hopeful. And then feeling so utterly crushed. Basically I cried if I let myself think of anything remotely close to fertility, or if I talked to anyone that day. It was a majorly shat-tastic day!
Claire Bear laughed at me when I cried in front of her. (guess 1 year olds don't get grief very well) Emi gave me a hug, a kiss, said 'I love you' then sang me twinkle twinkle little star (while 'playing' a small drum). Emi sings to Claire to help keep her calm in the van and such. It works wonders on Claire... but on me, it just about did me in. That little lady has the most amazing heart! She is also hilarious! While trying to put her to bed for her nap the other day, she was laying very still, with the blanket over her face (its how she closes her eyes), and all of the sudden started singing the Pinky and the Brain theme song. (Up until the first chorus!) As I laughed into her stuffy! Then I said 'Okay Emi, it is time to sleep now' and she replied 'But that was a very nice song.' Freakin hilarious kid! Oh and she just got her first official hair cut! Pictures to come soon!
So now we try again. Thankfully the trying doesn't officially start til after Christmas, so right now I am focusing on a wonderful couple of days with all 10 of us, and how fun it will be with Emi and Claire this year! Trying not to focus on the fact that we only have one cycle after this one left before new more invasive things start happening. IUI won't be so bad, but a royal pain in the apple. But, I'm trying to keep my faith and trust in the right place, and focus on the reason for the season!
Merry Christmas everyone! Hope its a wonderful time with family and friends!
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