Random Salad

My Beautiful Blessing!

2011-10-26T17:59:00.004-06:00

I can hardly believe it was one year ago today that I peed on this lil stick and got the best news ever!! BFP! I woke up DW very excitedly and could hardly even get the words out, called my dad who couldn't understand a word I was saying due to my tears of joy (thankfully mum speaks cry-talking)

Fast forward one year, and TADA! The most beautiful baby girl a mumma could ask for :)

I am so bless to be able to spend all day, everyday with my little miracle! She is my ray of sunshine and the light of my life! I am excited to (slowly!!) watch her grow into a toddler, a little girl, a teenager, a woman and one day a mother. I am so in love!

And yet there is a love greater than this!

Imagine how vast the love our Father has for his children truly is! Mind boggling isn't it? Amazing!

Pumpkin Spice Cookies!

2011-10-17T18:06:00.003-06:00

These cookies are officially my new favorites :) I love me some tasty pumpkin goodness! Thank you Heather for the recipe!!

Pumpkin Spice Cookies
3/4 c. shortening
1 c. sugar
1 c. pumpkin
1 egg
2 c. flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tea nutmeg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp. salt

Cream shortening, sugar, and pumpkin.
Add egg and vanilla mix well.
Add sifted dry ingredients.
Drop from spoon onto cookie sheet.
Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

Frosting
1/2 package of cream cheese (4 oz)
1/8 cup of butter
1 cup icing sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla

Beat frosting ingredients until smooth.
Frost cookies after they have cooled.

ENJOY!

Variation: I used butter instead of shortening, because that's what I had :) I also added cinnamon to the frosting, then melted and brushed it onto the cookies while they were warm with a pastry brush! Delish!

Pumpkin Muffins: take 2

2011-10-17T17:05:00.003-06:00

Seeing as Kyra woke ridiculously early today, I decided to bake! At 5:30 am :) I wanted to try a bit healthier version of the pumpkin muffin recipe I posted a few days ago. I replaced 1 cup of oil with plain applesauce (that I canned myself last fall)

I also added candied pumpkin seeds (just like Starbucks & Tim Horton's)
Candied Pumpkin Seeds
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup raw shelled pumpkin seeds

Spray large baking sheet with cooking spray. Heat seeds in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring frequently, 5 minutes or until the seeds begin to pop. Add sugar, and stir constantly about 1 minute or until sugar begins to liquefy and caramelize; add cinnamon and salt. Spread seeds on prepared baking sheet, and cool. Break apart the seeds that are stuck together, once they have cooled.

I got the recipe for the Pumpkin seeds from Meemos Kitchen

A {long} Birth Story: Kyra Elizabeth

2011-10-15T18:00:00.000-06:00

I spent nearly 6.5 years dreaming about getting pregnant, being pregnant, labour & delivery, and being a mum! Getting pregnant was amazing! Scary and amazing :) I loved being preggo - LOVED IT! I had no morning sickness, just a mild case of nausea that went away after the first trimester, some back pain, and swelling at the end.

I went in for my weekly appointment at 36 weeks and was measuring ahead so my doc booked me an u/s. My 37 week appointment was the day before my u/s and my blood pressure was high, so I got to do a 24 urine collection! Seriously.. 37 weeks preggo and having to collect ALL my urine for 24 hours PLUS have an u/s? Egads! Well, baby was great during the u/s : ) even saw her hair waving in the fluid. She was measuring a lil big but fluid levels were good!

My doc wanted me to get checked again at the hospital on the weekend, and blood pressure was still high so the on call doctor admitted me : ( I was hooked up to a non stress test (NST) to check on baby - who was perfect! -, did labs to check for pre-eclampsia (never did have protein in my urine, never had headaches, no blurry vision...just blew up like a balloon!)

-my first hospital stay! watching Strikeforce & Netflix-

DW was with me all weekend, and got the time off during the week too! (thank you Dave!) Which was good because I was induced at 7pm Sunday (19th) night with cervidil, which gave me some lovely contractions : p They were 45 seconds long, every 2-3 minutes until they took out the cervidil out at 1 am. They slowed down to every 5-6 minutes. We tried more cervidil at 10am on the 20th til 1pm, when we switched to pitocin!

-last preggo picture 37w6d-

Pitocin is administered via I.V. and they have a specific amount you can have. All I know is that the highest level is 20, and I made it to 20 without to much pain. Loads of contractions, the NST graph was off the charts! My nurse (whom I have known since childhood!) was constantly asking me if I was sure I was okay haha. Yay for a high pain tolerance : )

-my first iv!-

At about 6pm, my Dr. checked me, and there was still no progress. Still high and firm. So we stopped the pitocin, and he called an obgyn in Red Deer to consult. I sent my mum and DW to eat supper (my parents live very close to the hospital) because we were told that induction would be tried again the next day, so they might as well eat! Well, not even 10 minutes later my doctor comes in and tells me that he is prepping me to go to Red Deer for a c-section! I was given magnesium sulfate (which is HORRIBLE! it was like fire in my veins) and told the ambulance would be there in an hour. I am beyond grateful that my nurse was a friend because I was an emotional wreck! Mum and DW returned right as the ambulance arrived -about 45 minutes ahead of schedule!- and I was off to Red Deer. The tears had barely dried on my cheeks and already I was loaded and on the road.

-my first ambulance ride!-
-Sorry for the blur! Mum barely got her phone out in time-

Once in Red Deer, I was taken to L&D, catheterized, given another I.V., hooked up to the NST and having my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes. Oh and given more magnesium sulfate : ( I got checked by the obgyn, and ready for this?? Given another round of cervidil!! 12 hours of contractions, stuck in a delivery bed, I.V.'s in both hands, catheter, and NST on my belly! I was a very hungry (no food allowed from Tuesday at 3 pm onward because of possible c-section), very swollen, tired, contracting, 38 week pregnant lady! Oh, fun story: while in a tired stupor, I was trying to sleep but my hand was cold and felt wet. I moved the sheet and tada! A huge pool of blood! My I.V. wasn't done right and every time my blood pressure was taken - gush!

-doesn't this look like a cozy way to sleep, while also having contractions?-

Fast forward through an awful night, Dr. checked me at 10 am on Wednesday the 22nd, and still no change! The furthest I dilated was 2cm, but was still high and not progressing : ( That meant a c-section was the only option. I was prepped at about 2:45 pm and rushed down. Thankfully I got an awesome doctor and not Red Deer's worst obgyn! (He was on call for that day!)

Kyra Elizabeth was born at 3:34 pm, June 22. She had the cord wrapped around her neck not once, but twice! If induction had worked and she had dropped... the cord would have snapped. My heart aches just thinking about it! She was alert from the moment she was born! She let out one squawk, was checked out, then given to her daddy right next to my head. She was perfection personified! Wide eyed and curious, she just stared at her blubbering mumma with big eyes.

I was then wheeled to recovery, while DW and Kyra were taken upstairs. I hated that I wasn't with her! I, to this day, do NOT understand why she was not with me : ( it was nearly 2 HOURS until I finally got to hold my baby and every moment was agony! My spinal was wearing off fast, by the time I got to recovery I could move my legs. And when they took me upstairs, I could feel every thing (especially when the nurses ran my bed into the elevator door jam!!) I honestly don't understand what took so long. But finally... FINALLY I got to hold her! My beautiful, perfect baby girl!!! She latched on like a pro, and was so alert : ) She was amazing, and I was so incredibly thankful for her safe arrival!

-first time holding my baby girl!-

My stay at the hospital lasted until 8:30 pm on Saturday, the 25th. I was given morphine the first night and it made me a paranoid crazy lady! I do not remember visitors & I was sure the nurses were going to steal Kyra. It was crazy! Once off the morphine, my brain returned to normal. My milk was slow at coming in. I had a horrible nurse try to force formula on me, tell me my baby was going to end up with brain damage because of jaundice. I ended up supplementing with donor breastmilk from my friend. Kyra spent 6 hours on bili-bed, had her foot poked 5-6 times. It was such a crazy hard week! I couldn't wait to get out of there!

Finally I got to take my baby home! We spent 6 weeks at my parents house (all 3 of us!) because I was not in good shape. The swelling took about a week to start going down, blood pressure was starting to go down. Kyra had to go get her Bili levels checked twice. I am so so thankful for my Mumsie! Nana and Kyra had many snuggle sessions while I slept. I have NO idea how I would have been able to handle recovery by myself, at home! (my bathroom and bedroom aren't even on the same level!)

-ready to go home-

My journey through infertility and my crazy delivery were definitely not ideal, and I pray next time around things will go better. But Kyra is amazing and I would go through it all 10 times over for the blessing of being her mumma!

Pumpkin Muffins w/ Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

2011-10-14T00:23:00.004-06:00

Pumpkin Muffins
4 eggs
2 cups white sugar
1.5 cups oil
1.75 cups pumpkin
3 cups flour
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. B powder
1 tsp. B soda
1 tsp. Salt
2 cups raisins

Beat eggs. Add sugar, oil & pumpkin. Combine dry ingredients and add to wet. Mix until smooth. Add raisins.
Bake 375 for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown
Mine are without raisins because my husband is weird and hates them :(

Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
4 tbs. butter, softened
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. cinnamon
4 cups icing sugar

Beat cream cheese, butter & vanilla. Gradually add cinnamon and icing sugar.

More icing sugar may be needed! I don't really follow recipes super closely so I'm not sure how much I used :)

Enjoy!

A year in review

2011-10-13T11:53:00.001-06:00

One year ago today I was in Calgary, at the Regional Fertility Clinic having an IUI done. DW had gone in early that morning by himself to do his part, and I went down a few hours later to do my part. I was emotionally spent and ready for a break. This was our last try until the new year. My body needed a break from the drugs, I needed a break from the whole process - internal ultrasounds, drugs, cramps, timed intercourse, trips to Calgary every other day for almost 2 weeks each month - I was tired and overwhelmed. My sister and parents were planning a liver cleanse and once I got my BFN I was going to join them. It was something to look forward to, to help take my mind off of what I was sure was NOT happening in my womb.

It's hard to believe how much can change in 365 days! Things felt different within a few days but I didn't want to hope and have my heart crushed! I tested 13 agonizing days later and BFP!!! I was a mum :) I prayed all the time, giving my babe back into God's hands! I was so excited and so terrified but trusting that the giver of life was watching over us! Every week was a huge milestone, especially once we passed week 30!

Fast forward to today: I woke up to my beautiful 16 week old baby girl, who was wiggling, grunting and about to wake up for her breakfast! I am so blessed and more in love than I knew was possible!

Beginning of the end

2011-04-13T19:41:00.002-06:00

Hard to believe the 3rd trimester officially started today! I am already 28 weeks!! This lil one is getting so close to being done :) I can't wait to meet her, to snuggle her, to learn who she is! YAY The count down is on, and I am so excited!

Blessed

2011-04-07T18:54:00.002-06:00

I am a VERY blessed woman! Yesterday marked the 27 week mark for my pregnancy, which means my beautiful baby will be in my arms in a MAX of 15 weeks, and I am considered 'term' in 10 weeks. My baby is growing, healthy, and I am so thankful for that every moment. Even when I am lying awake at 2 am, needing to pee, with a ridiculously sore back, I am SO thankful for this journey! I wouldn't trade a moment of it. Every time my babe moves in the slightest, without meaning to, I smile, rub my tummy and say 'hello lil one'. I giggle while watching tv, out of the blue, because the wiggles are so amusing and amazing to me. I am in awe of the miracle that is growing inside me. And I am SO thankful that with every day that passes by, my baby is growing stronger, getting ready to come out and meet this crazy group of people that he/she will call family!

Today while watch 2 amazing and beautiful little ladies, my 28 month old niece looked up at me and out of nowhere said 'I love you'. When I said 'I love you too Boo bear' she looked at me all serious and said 'Auntie, I love you'. I was complete mush. All through out the day, she confirmed those 3 little words over and over again, with giant bear hugs and about a 100 kisses. She brings so much joy to me, and makes me SO excited to meet my precious babe in 10-15 weeks. I can't wait for the hugs, the kisses, and one day hearing 'Mummy, I love you!'

I love April!

2011-04-04T19:40:00.002-06:00

I am a total 'spring' girl! I love the puddles, the warm sunshine while still wearing a hoodie, the smell of bbq's being fired up after months stuck under snow. I just LOVE spring! Maybe it is because I was born in April? Anyway you dice it, I crave spring from the moment the snow falls, til the snow starts melting. And once summer arrives? I want FALL! haha I am not a hot or cold person, I like comfortable.

Which is why having a JULY baby is going to be hard! I am already starting the hot flashes and it is only April 4th. I am only (haha 'only') 26 weeks and 5 days preggo... which means I have a lot more 'warm' on the way, with an ever growing belly. Oh de-de-de-dear! Air conditioning, fans, bare feet and loose flowing dresses shall be my best friends indeed! (except for while I am at the dreaded Walmart)

Latest preggo pic

I am really hoping to get my dear friend to take some belly shots before this wee one comes out! Some professional like ones, while enjoying her amazing company :) Bliss!

Adorable Blogger Templates

2011-03-23T19:51:00.001-06:00

LOVE the templates from Leelou Blogs! SO cute!

25 weeks!

2011-03-23T19:20:00.004-06:00

Holy smokes! Where has the time gone? This lil Turkey is due to arrive in only weeks!! Thought it was time for some random preggo updates :)

21 week photo

23 weeks 6 day u/s pics

We also found out the gender of our lil one :) So very exciting! Of course we are not sharing the info at this point though. I like having it as 'ours' for a little while. So much of this journey has been very public, so having a lil secret of our own is fabulous fun... for now at least :)

I shall take a new photo next week, hopefully I can find someone to take it too! Self portraits and I are not friends these days. I actually got my brother to take the 24 week one.

Week 24 brought on some big changes at the end. For one, I woke up with a sore belly button yesterday morning! What is that all about? Plus all the sudden things that did fit at the beginning of week 24, don't now! For example my tank top is now about 3 inches to short. My maternity pants that used to fall off, are nice and snug. And my bra is no longer 'cutting it' as it was since my last growth spurt. I am spilling out all over. Guess a trip to Edmonton to the custom bra shop is in order!

Our lil one is getting way more active lately. Usually right on my bladder or sciatic nerve, but today I actually felt lots of movement up higher by my belly button. Which is a new and exciting development! Oh, I can not WAIT to meet this lil turkey who has stolen our hearts :) Hurry up July!!!

7 More Sleeps!

2011-02-01T17:36:00.002-07:00

In 7 more sleeps I go in for my 18-20 week ultrasound, and I get to see my tiny turkey! I am still not feeling movement :( So I am very much looking forward to seeing him/her move around, hearing the heartbeat, and having that peace of mind that everything is fine!

So to keep my mind off the ultrasound and the possibility of learning if we are adding a boy or girl to the family, I am making Grandma's Chocolate Cake mini cupcakes, with pink and purple Cream Cheese Icing on them! Why pink and purple? Because my two adorable nieces LOVE pink and purple, so when I pop by today with mini cupcakes with icing in their fav colors, it will make their day :) Plus, it is February now and they are very Valentine's Day appropriate colors :)

Cream Cheese Icing -the recipe!-

2011-02-01T17:34:00.004-07:00

4 oz. Cream Cheese, softened (125 g.)

1/4 cup Butter, softened

1 tsp. Vanilla

2 cup Icing Sugar

Cream together cream cheese, butter and vanilla
beat in icing sugar, a little at a time
Add color, if desired

Milk or cream can be added if to thick :) Delish on Grandma's Chocolate Cake!

A few tricks I have discovered for icing over the past year of making a boat load of cupcakes:

Neon food coloring! It does awesome bright colors, with far fewer 'drops'
Ziplock bag for piping, just tuck the tip you want to use through a tiny hole in one corner, fill using a wine glass to support it, and viola! You have a clean bag, with the tip in, that is cheap!

Grandma's Chocolate Cake - the recipe! -

2011-02-01T12:04:00.004-07:00

1/2 cup Butter, softened
1 1/2 cup Sugar
2 Eggs

1 cup Sour Cream

2 cup Flour
2 tsp. Baking powder
1 tsp. Baking soda

1/2 cup Cocoa
1/2 cup Hot water
1 tsp. Vanilla

Combine Butter and Sugar, cream together. It won't actually 'cream' together, but be more of a fluffy mixture. Add Eggs, mix!
Alternate sour cream with flour, baking soda and baking powder.
Mix cocoa, hot water and vanilla into a paste of sorts. Add to above. Scrap sides to ensure even mixture.
Bake at 350, 30 minutes for a cake, 18 minutes for regular cupcakes, and 12 minutes for mini cupcakes. (all times approximate, just gotta check with a toothpick, adjust time based on your own oven! )

Recipe can be doubled! :)

17 weeks!

2011-01-25T19:17:00.002-07:00

Well, tomorrow I will be! So I thought I would at least post my 16 week belly shot. Finally am starting to feel like my belly is looking like a pregnant belly and less like chub :) SO excited! 2 weeks from today we get to see our lil turkey, and likely find out what gender we shall be expecting in July! I am just so in love with this wee one already! I can't wait to finally meet my little miracle that we have waited so long for! I am just so thankful for a faithful Father. Although His ways are not my ways, I wouldn't have changed anything about my journey to motherhood. I am so in love, so thankful, and so abundantly blessed!

Update time!

2010-12-30T17:42:00.004-07:00

I figured that with the New Year nearly upon me, I would FINALLY update my very neglected blog!

First things first:

Holy crow! DW and I are actually preggers! WOWIE WOW WOW! I am still in shock! Our lil Turkey is due July 6, 2011

We had our first ultrasound at 9 weeks

Everything is going perfectly! My mum came with me to meet her newest grandchild. My lil Turkey wiggled all 4 limbs and squirmed around. We got to see the heart beating at approx. 172 bpm :) YAY!

Next up was the lovely prenatal exam.. BLARG! That was far from fun. I was 11 wks and 2 days. My doc semi changed my due date to July 7th haha I couldn't believe he bothered and/or cared about the day difference but schmee! (I am sticking with the 6th.) But because of the dating 'conflict' I was sent for another ultrasound at 12 weeks. DW was actually able to 'meet' our Turkey that day :)

As of yesterday, I am 13 weeks along already! The time has flown by, and honestly, the shock hasn't passed! I got a job at Walmart to get maternity leave hours in, and PTL I didn't get morning sickness, so I was able to work with no issues so far :)

Me at 13 weeks :)

2 tries later..

2010-09-25T13:14:00.005-06:00

I decided it was time for an update. Plus I'm at my mum's making cupcakes and have nothing to kill the time while they cook...other than dishes... so the obvious choice? Blog!

So in July/August, we attempted our first IUI. I took 100mg of Serophene CD3-7 (July24-28) then came the numerous ultrasounds in Cowtown.
Ultrasound #1 - August 2 - 2 follicles, 8mm & 9 mm.
Ultrasound #2 - August 5 - 2 follicles, 14 mm & 11mm
Ultrasound #3 - August 7 - 0 follicles found, all just small 'unripe' ones. So I was sent to do blood work, LH level 16. They are saying I didn't ovulate yet so...
Ultrasound #4 - August 10 - 0 follicles still, sent for more blood work, which came back on the 11th, I ovulated! So now we wait and see what happens!

Nothing! Just the arrival of stupid AF... so now we start all over again! Hopefully they don't miss my ovulation this time!

August 23-27 I took my 100mg of Serophene yet again for CD3-7.
Ultrasound #1 - September 3 - 1 follicle, 11mm
Ultrasound #2 - September 5 - 1 follicle, 17mm
Ultrasound #3 - September 7 - 1 follicle, 23 mm (by 15 mm)
YAY follie is big enough for the injection! (10,000 iu of hCG)

So, the nurse (Jennifer I think! I have met SO many there) took us into a little room to instruct me how to give myself the injections.. that is correct, I had to inject myself! Seemed easy enough, half in one needle, half in the other, injected in different spots on my stomach or thighs. I know I could have got DW to do it, but I'm kind of a control freak, so at 11pm on September 7th, I stuck myself in the belly twice!

Next up was the IUI itself. DW had to make his 'deposit' at 7:30 am at the lab. Then we went back to my aunt's to kill the time between. My aunt and I made some apple sauce to keep my mind of the drama that was fast approaching. My appointment was at 10:30am. So off we went! The actual process is mad simple! Undress from the waist down, cover up with a sheet, put your feet in the stir ups, and wait. The worst part is the dry insertion of the speculum. They can't lubricate because if they bump the lube with the catheter it can't be used, thus wasting the sperm. So in it goes, and that is it! about ten minutes total, and you are free to go! Some women experience cramping but I didn't. Just general soreness. The nurse told me to test on September 25th if AF hadn't arrived.

So September 20th, I was SO fed up with waiting. I just wanted to know NOW. haha AF was expected the following day, so it wasn't like I was testing super early or anything. BFN! And AF did arrive on the 21st.

So today, I am already on day 3 of Serophene. My first two ultrasounds are booked for October 4th and 6th. I honestly am not looking forward to doing this again. I'm tired of the BFNs, I'm tired of drugs, I'm REALLY tired of internal ultrasounds. (TMI alert! My left ovary 'hides' behind my bowel or something, and they have to put a LOT of pressure on me with the internal wand to find it.. it is horrendous!)

So far this cycle, I've found out 2 of my friends are newly preggers. Due in May, which is when I would be due if the first IUI had been successful. I have a friend due any day now (technically on the 8th but...), one at Christmas time, and 2 in January. This would be the 3rd cycle of babies I have 'missed'... I'm emotionally exhausted. I don't know what will happen after this next try. If it doesn't work.. I'm out of drugs, and have no coverage for more. I am so thankful for all my prayer warriors! I know God has a plan for me! I KNOW this, but I'm just so deep in the chaos that I feel like it will never actually end.

Time to go finish making my peppermint icing, and ice those bad boys! Is there anything tastier than dark chocolate cupcakes with a hint of mint, and delicious mint butter cream icing? Me thinks not!

IUI

2010-07-22T12:29:00.002-06:00

Well, the time has come for DW and myself to take the next step! Although, it really is mostly myself going through all the hoops. DW has it so much easier... but by no means am I saying it doesn't effect him!!!! But his swimmers are perfect, and thus it was me who got to take prometrium for 10 days. Praise the Lord, I am done that! Now we wait.... and although it has only been one night free of prometrium, I am impatient for AF to arrive so we can get this party started! Af is trying to make an appearance already, but hardly counts as cd1, so tomorrow maybe!!

For anyone reading this who doesn't know how an IUI procedure works, I shall break it down for ya!

First, if you do not ovulate on your own, and therefore have irregular cycles, then they will likely give you Clomid (aka Serophene) for a few cycles, see if you conceive. If not, but you ARE ovulating on it, next comes the IUI, which stands for intrauterine insemination. (sometimes called artificial insemination) If you don't have a shed on your own, the Dr. will likely give you Prometrium. At the end of the 10 days on prometrium, your body will shed the liner, and start the process again. It usually takes up to 7 days for the shed.

Second step, calling the clinic. On Cd1 (the first day of your period, not just spotting) you call in to inform the clinic, and get your ultrasound booked. Which is usually about cd10, and every 2-3 after that.

Next, Clomid! Which you take for 5 days. some doctors will advise cd3-cd7, some will advise cd5-cd10. Depends on the dr. I myself am doing cd3-cd7.

CD10 (or so) you go in for your first ultrasound to see how the follicle is doing. Then you go in every 2-3 days until the follicle grows to about 18-24mm. At which point I get to have a shot of HGC to 'force' ovulation.

DW has one job during this process.. to make a 'donation' at the lab, which will be washed and inserted!

That's it! Lots of waiting around for things to be ready, followed by lots of waiting to see if it worked or not!!!! If AF goes as predicted, I should be heading to Cowtown for my first appointment on August 3 me thinks, cuz the long weekend just happens to fall that weekend so.. EEK! It is coming up SOON!

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

2010-03-31T14:11:00.003-06:00

So excited! Although it will be a crazy whirlwind trip, it will be awesome! Here is a quick run down of my wee trip with my mumsie!

April 8th - We fly from Edmonton to Palm Springs, get our rental car, check into the Doral Desert Princess Resort, then go shopping :) And hopefully supper at Ruby's.

April 9th - Mum, sister person and I drive to Vegas in my sister's work handivan. Staying at The Venetian where we shall also be seeing The Phantom of the Opera!!! I'm seriously so excited I just might pee myself! I have wanted to see the Phantom since I was about 7 ish, living in Prince George and dad brought home a tape with the soundtrack on it. I have been in love ever since!

April 10th - Driving homeward, staying in Butte, Helena or Great Falls, MT. Depending on if we wanna do 12 or 15 hours of driving in one day!

April 11th - Possibly some quick shopping. Gotta have sister person back at a decent hour because she has to be up on the 12th @ 5am (yick) for work.

It shall be a quick trip but super duper fun! :) I am so so excited! Plus I now (well, once I pick it up on the 7th) have my passport! Which means there is a much better chance of random 'let's get the frak outta dodge' trips :)

love love and hoppy Easter ya'll! :)

New Hair

2010-03-20T23:21:00.004-06:00

Here it is! This picture was taken with DW's cell, hence the face. I tried to get a decent one but...

The top photo definitely shows the color the best. It is a light brown or a dark blonde. Closest to my natural color I have been since ahh... 14? haha

Anyhoo.. had it all curled perty for my passport photos today, but sadly, the lighting in my house is the poop and the computer built in won't take accurate color photos. Oh and both my cameras are at mum's! Ridiculous! Anyhoo.. that is the new hair! Good bye my little pony hair :)

Old Photo

2010-03-18T13:46:00.003-06:00

I just found this old photo on mum's computer! Holy crow it seems like so long ago.. but here I am, trying on MY wedding dress. I believe we bought it that day also. I wore a different veil but it is the same tiara too. Ohh I love it! You can't really tell, but the flowers on the tiara are actually pink. It matched so fabulously and was FREE! Huzzah! (I also got a pair of black elbow high gloves for free!)

Didn't ya'll wanna see a close up of my strangely cleavage-less chest? I that because I pretty much have cleavage in a t-shirt haha But I digress.. or rather, I'm done! Peace!

Freeeeedom!

2010-03-18T09:12:00.007-06:00

I decided it was time to be free, of Facebook that is. I'll admit, I was an addict. So I figured the best cure was to just be done with it. And not just deactivate it, because I have horrid self control. So I spent hours deleting EVERY friend, all of my personal information, all 'tags' on photos & notes, EVERYTHING! It seriously took forever. But now I am free! So much free time! haha

In other news, I have the most HORRID hair color right now! Let's just say, I shan't be coloring my hair purple and dark dark brown anytime soon. I used a hair stripper last night, which was basically a weak as bleach, and had to bleach it anyways this morning. So right now, my hair is a delightful peach, orange and cotton candy pink, with random bits of yellow and blond. SEXY! I have NO idea how my color is going to cover this gong show of a rainbow hair do I'm rockin but... I have photos to prove it :)

Fantastic eh? haha Here hoping the new color will cover it decently. At least Emi loves it! :)

I guess I should do a fertility update... Round 4 of Clmoid sucked. No sign of ovulation, really low temps, but at least AF came, even if it wasn't until about CD38. So now I am on my first cycle sans Clomid after 4 on Clomid, CD 20 (ish.. I don't have my chart stuff at mum's) and still super low temps. Zero sign that my body is going to try to do anything out of its ordinary. Been exercising more lately, and am planning on starting P90X with a friend soon. Plus I am looking into trying a low GI diet and see if that helps my silly body work better! If I have zero results by the end of April, we shall be heading to the fertility clinic again in May. But I think the big issue right now, is getting rid of some excess chub then worrying about the ovulation! Because baby or no baby, I don't wanna look like this forever.. nope nope nope...

Random info time! DW is waiting to hear about a new job! He should know tomorrow if he will get on for the shut down at the end of the month. I'm in the process of completing my passport application. Mum called last night on her way (by car) to California and said I should get it asap so I can fly down to California on April 8th to drive back with her and my sister person. Which means a stop in Vegas! SO SO EXCITED! I have only ever been to LAX, Colorado and Montana. It will be amazing to see some of the other sights on the drive home :)

Off to tidy up toys, do lunch dishes and hopefully get some reading in before the girls wake up :)

Green Grass and Cherry Blossoms

2010-02-15T11:49:00.003-07:00

What What?

Last week my brother told me that he, his wife and two lovely daughters were heading to the Vancouver area to visit family. So I decided to stowaway and visit DW's sister and her family. We drove from Blackfalds to Sicamous on friday night, then continued to Ladner on Saturday. Right into the heart of the Olympic games *sarcastic woohoo*

We went for a walk in 12 degree weather yesterday. Sun shining, green grass, trees budding, spring flowers blooming, and CHERRY BLOSSOMS! What the deuce?!? It totally creeps me out to see spring happening in February, yet I never left Canada! Seems weird, but I'm loving it!

I really have nothing to write about..just figured it has been freakin forever since I last bloggered.
Merry February 15th ya'll!

Breaking Dawn

2010-01-21T16:18:00.003-07:00

Well, DW and I are officially on 'Breaking Dawn' now! How exciting eh? haha DW really enjoyed Eclipse, and we are both looking forward to seeing it in theater on June 30th!

Work is the same. I'm working crazy hours, pay is pathetic, but Emiko and Claire are well worth it! I heart those little monkeys! Claire is starting to walk now. She has taken 5 steps on her own a few times now. And rather than use furniture to get up to walk, she just stands right up! She even occasionally does the downward dog pose! Hilarious kid! Emiko and I have been working on her printing a little bit. She loves to play 'school' and is doing awesome with learning to print the alphabet. She even wrote on Nana's birthday card last week! (Ann wrote the words then Emiko wrote then onto Nana's card! She is such a stinkin smart kid!)

DW quite possibly will be switching to a new job, one that will actually help us get this ridonkulous debt out of the way once and for all! Plus, help us get out from under the car payment! It will be wonderful to own Sven, and not pay $700 a month for him! So prayer would be appreciated on that. DW would be working 20 and 8's, which for those of ya'll who aren't fluent in rig speak, that is 20 days straight working, then 8 off. Rinse and repeat until job is complete!

In other news, we are tentatively looking into a big big big change! Nothing baby related, although that is likely to happen also. More of a move, a big move, to a new country! Eeek! DW is feeling like God is pointing us in new direction, and I'm not freaking out yet! haha No details yet, because really, we have no idea if its just an idea or if we are being called away. So yeah, prayer for that would also be AWESOME!

Below are my two favorite songs of the moment. Feel free to take a listen! (you may want to pause the music playing at the very bottom of the blog first)

Beside You makes me cry. Frequently! Sure, it isn't a 'God' song, but so much of it speaks to me that way! When I first heard it, it was like Josh Ramsay was singing for me! Not a huge fan of the video, but anyhoo, here it be:

And Miss Miley, with yet another catchy ballad that somehow makes me cry too. I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with my head lately! Crappy crappy version, thanks Youtube! The track sounds WAY better I promise.

Another year...

2010-01-11T13:11:00.002-07:00

Wow! 11 days into 2010 already! And today it is 7 degrees, Celsius!! What is going on? Global warming finally happening or something? So very bizarre! But I'll take it while it is here, and try not to think that this is spring already! Shall make the next -30 cold snap pretty unbearable though! Yikes!

So DW and I decided to do some little resolutions for 2010. Not huge ones, just ones we may actually succeed at within this year.

A few of my resolutions:

Healthier lifestyle: eat better, move more
Read through the Bible
Paint spare room (future nursery, if we still live here with a baby!)
Watch Stargate SG1 season 1-10
Paint DW's dojo/trophy room

A few of DW's:

Get his blue belt in Jiu Jitsu
Attend a UFC live, either in Vegas or Vancouver

Mutual goals:

Pay off debt load
Budget!
Leave Canada to anywhere outside of Canada! haha preferably somewhere tropical!
Expand our family, which may include starting the adoption process (eek!)
Finish reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn together (I read out loud to DW, and surprisingly, he actually enjoys them, well now that we are past Twilight haha)

So far we have a budget on the go, which should drastically help the debt load issue. We also have started reading Eclipse. I really wanted to read it to DW before he saw the movie, because he saw Twilight and New Moon with me before we read them together. This is actually my third time reading the series. I still enjoy it, and am still 100% team Jacob! Not that I really want Jacob with Bella, but I just plain love Jacob Black! But I digress! I have picked the paint colors I want for the spare room/nursery. DW has a blue toned carpet in 'his' room, so I'm not sure what we will end up doing in there yet.

Anyhoo, that is in a nutshell what we want for 2010, Lord willing and the creek don't rise! Shall give an update on fertility stuff and junk when there is news. Currently CD26, and hoping for sticky baby dust! (haha how silly does that sound?)

Round 3

2009-12-22T07:46:00.003-07:00

Here we go again! Today is CD6, and I have one last dose of Serophene tomorrow morning. Then we start trying all over again. Merry Christmas! (to DW anyhoo, I'm exhausted just thinking about it)

The previous cycle went really well. Planned intercourse for longer than deemed necessary, but in our case is, because I appear to be ovulating near cd21. I had high temps from cd22 to cd33, with cramping, tenderness, etc. Then Wednesday (dec. 16) my temps plummeted, I took a pregnancy test, (negative) and AF arrived shortly after lunch. I was a wreck that day. I know 11 days isn't long enough to know by temps and such but with the cramping, I thought this was finally it!

I think the worst part of it all, was feeling so hopeful. And then feeling so utterly crushed. Basically I cried if I let myself think of anything remotely close to fertility, or if I talked to anyone that day. It was a majorly shat-tastic day!

Claire Bear laughed at me when I cried in front of her. (guess 1 year olds don't get grief very well) Emi gave me a hug, a kiss, said 'I love you' then sang me twinkle twinkle little star (while 'playing' a small drum). Emi sings to Claire to help keep her calm in the van and such. It works wonders on Claire... but on me, it just about did me in. That little lady has the most amazing heart! She is also hilarious! While trying to put her to bed for her nap the other day, she was laying very still, with the blanket over her face (its how she closes her eyes), and all of the sudden started singing the Pinky and the Brain theme song. (Up until the first chorus!) As I laughed into her stuffy! Then I said 'Okay Emi, it is time to sleep now' and she replied 'But that was a very nice song.' Freakin hilarious kid! Oh and she just got her first official hair cut! Pictures to come soon!

So now we try again. Thankfully the trying doesn't officially start til after Christmas, so right now I am focusing on a wonderful couple of days with all 10 of us, and how fun it will be with Emi and Claire this year! Trying not to focus on the fact that we only have one cycle after this one left before new more invasive things start happening. IUI won't be so bad, but a royal pain in the apple. But, I'm trying to keep my faith and trust in the right place, and focus on the reason for the season!

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope its a wonderful time with family and friends!

Because its fun

2009-12-11T20:31:00.004-07:00

a meme!

A list of 5 guys whose laps I would rather sit on than Santa's.

#1 - Roger Huerta, UFC fighter

Look at that freakin dimple! So delish!

#2 - Ryan Reynolds...and he is Canadian!

#3 - Gerard Butler, naughty but nice? (Yeah, DW's puns are rubbing off on me!)

#4 - Jason Segel, Cute & hilarious

#5, Taylor Lautner, But not until February 11, 2010 when he officially becomes legal! (Because married 26 year old women, shouldn't sit on 17 year old boys laps!)

ahem

2009-12-10T21:48:00.004-07:00

Where to start? Where to start? The very beginning is a little extreme, so hows about I just cover the high lights of the last couple ah months. Yikes! It has indeed been way to long.

~ October ~

I blogged about starting my new drug treatment of Serophene. I took 5 doses of 50 mg on CD 3-7, did the whole timed intercourse thing.

~ November ~

Then had blood test 1 done on CD21 (November 6th). I also was fighting some nasty bug that my brother had, the munchkin had, and Boo Bear was fighting off. Sitting in a waiting room for almost an hour with a stanky (seriously, I'm talking pure feces coupled with moth balls.. I almost ralphed, more than once) sick lady coughing on me non-stop, put my immune system over the edge, and by the end of the day, I was sick. I'm talking seriously ill. Not H1N1, just a stupid bug that kept me sick for majority of November. So, timed intercourse ended, and on CD28, I had my second blood test done. (November 13).

TMI Alert

I had been feeling so emo the last week, temperatures were a bust because of me being sickly, sore nipples, etc.. I was so hopefully sure that this was it! FINALLY! Then, what would have been cd29 became CD1 as AF descended with vengeance.. in Wal-Mart!! The emotions I went through that day were not fun at all. I was so sure this was it, so sure that I almost bawled in Dollarama while wasting time while DW was weighing in at his tournament. I went from surprise and awe that I had actually had a 28 day cycle! (first in half a decade), to thinking that I had miscarried (that is how sure I felt), I was an emotional wreck, who was still super sick and had no voice. DW was entirely to preoccupied with his tournament to focus on my melt dow, so being me, I buried it, calmed down, and decided that regardless of what happened, God was in control!

On CD3, I called the fertility clinic to get a prescription of Serophene faxed because I had to start it that day, or go through the gong show of taking prometrium again. So, I drove into Red Deer to get my prescription that night and started cycle 2 on Serophene. On CD7 (November 20th) I took my final pill, as well as met with Dr. O'Keane. My tests had come back showing that I had indeed ovulated, (and missed it...) and I am not diabetic. He gave me two more prescriptions, just incase, and told us to continue using the old fashioned method of timed intercourse.

~ December ~

CD27 today.... Timed intercourse from CD10 to CD24 is entirely to much intercourse! Ugh! I'm thankfully not sick anymore. Both girls are back to healthy too. Bear turned 1 on the 8th! Holy moly! We are having a family party tomorrow night to celebrate a wonderful year getting to know one of the happiest little ones I've ever met!

Drew is finally working full time hours! Hooray! We aren't going to have to sell my car after all! There have been some tough times in the past month, financially, emotionally, hormonally, etc... We used the food bank for the first time in my life. (DW had used it in his previous 'life'), we fell behind on all payments except the mortgage and my car. (but just barely)

I am so stressed, so tired, and so sick of this part of our journey. I honestly don't know if I can start 2010 knowing I'm on the same horrid path. Unfortunately, it is not my decision to make. So I guess I will continue one step at a time, trying to trust, trying to lay it down, succeeding at times, and failing miserably most times. I'm tired. I'm scared because this time of the month where we find out if there is a miracle growing, or if I failed again, we have to try again next cycle.

On the upside, Christmas is only 15 days away! HOORAY! I'm still praying that I will have a Christmas miracle this year. It would be the best gift I could possibly give my husband and my parents!

Welp, I'm off to bed! I have to adorable little girls expecting me bright and early. Tomorrow we bake! Huzzah!

jillanna

Yummmmy!

2009-11-16T22:09:00.003-07:00

Today I decided to try out a recipe I found on a friend's blog. It was for a homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte! Hello! She had discovered a lovely website that had a recipe for a homemade syrup. (as well as many other fabulous looking foods that I must try my hand at!) Click here for the recipe if you want to try it yourself. So I decided today was a good day to try it, because I definitely needed the caffeine boost after yet another night of not sleeping. So here it is, the delicious, homemade, extremely affordable Pumpkin Spice Latte!

Tomorrow I shall attempt to remember to blog, and update everyone on all of the going on's in my life these days!

10,000 Reasons...

2009-11-04T15:44:00.005-07:00

why I love my job!!!

Testing Testing 1...2...3...

2009-10-19T13:36:00.002-06:00

So, for anyone out there who still reads my completely inconsistent blathering, I have news! Not super duper amazing 'I'm pregnant' sort of news, but good news that may lead to that sort of news! Before I get to that though, I just want to say that I LOVE my new job! Taking care of Munchkin and the Little Bear is so much fun! Snuggles, kisses, hearing Bear say her first official word (DIRT!) I love it! Even though I got a cold from the girls my first week! haha

So I went to see our fertility specialist on September 28th. And I never blogged a word about it. I should be hanging my head in shame, but I was so annoyed with how long it takes for anything to actually happen, that I was far from excited yet. But now things are happening!! I was given a prescription for 10 days of Prometrium (100mg per day) and I took that, finished it last week. Then came the waiting, the wondering. Will it actually work this time? (last time, it didn't work so well, so my expectations were low low low) But my very unexpected Aunt came to visit me first thing Saturday morning! HOORAY! I was very excited, and yet dreading actually having the blasted ordeal. Seriously, I am SO thankful for a cycle starting, a fresh home for possible baby making, etc.. but I HATE actually having to deal with it!

Anyhooters.. today is CD3, and I took 1 of 5 doses of Serophine this morning. (It is giving me crazy heart burn!) I am only on a 50mg dose, but this time around, I will actually be getting blood work done on CD21 and CD28 to see if things are happening. My next appointment with the specialist isn't until November 20. Seems like a life time away!

So today, I'm facing the ups and downs of hope and reality. Hoping this is it! Hoping I will ovulate on the lowest dose, conceive and be having a baby in August (ish). Then reality sets in. 25% chance I'll conceive each month, IF I have a normal cycle, which I don't! Balls I hate this whole infertility thing. I'm 100% over it, and ready to either be pregnant, or just stop it all!

Prayer would be super duper amazingly awesome over the next few weeks!
A few things that I'd love prayer for:
~ 50 mg dose would work!
~ That my ovulation would happen, and my detection kit would work
~ DW & I don't get sick an tired of timed intercourse! (Every other day)
~ I would be at peace, with whatever happens
~ Colds would be gone! (Both girls and I have colds)
~ DW would get back to full time hours (before we are in trouble!)

Random Ramble

2009-09-24T15:38:00.001-06:00

I really have nothing much to say today. It is a lovely fall day, 22 degrees (celsius) and I am thinking about Christmas! Ridiculous! But alas, I can't help it! I LOVE Christmas. I also have a shameful love of halloween decorations, but am anti-halloween otherwise. I just love bats and skulls. I find them pretty. (I also ramble a lot) I went shopping with a friend and her two rambunctious boys this morning, looking at christmas crafts at Michael's, and I found some wonderful halloween stuff that I SO wanted. But I settled on some totally cute party bags, and a bat cookie cutter! Can't wait to bake now!

Life.. or something like it

2009-09-15T01:10:00.000-06:00

Friday was a craptastic day. I woke up tired, with my usual headache, and walked down stairs to my usual disaster I call home. Due to that fact that we are stupid broke, there is no food in the house, so I skipped breakfast (and lunch) and started in on my 'to do' list for the day. First item, call the bank and figure out what is up with our mortgage payments. Only to find out we owe 2 months worth, due asap. Oh and can I bring that in today? So the wee bit of money we have been saving to try and dig ourselves out of debt went towards the mortgage, along with the last of the money in the bank account for food, gas and all our bills (which are still due, but will have to jolly well wait until DW gets paid next).

So, I walk into the bank, shaking because I'm so upset that life is constantly sucking, and muttering in my head that I am frakking DONE with this. But in I go, and hand over ALL of my money. And to top it off, the bank teller had the nerve to update my info on the system. I know, sounds harmless enough right?

Question one, phone number? Easy!

Question two, job? Gee thanks lady.. bring up my recent surprise termination!

Question three, any kids? I literally felt like a mental patient. Knowing it was insane, but not being able to stop myself, I said nope, with my eyes brimming full, and wanting to book it out of there.

How can one little innocent question ruin my day so easily? Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved life. Loved to lay in the grass and breathe in the fresh air, watch the leaves fall. A girl who loved Sundays most, because church is on Sundays, and that meant singing wonderful worship songs, giving glory to God for all the amazing things He has done. She loved to spend her time with family and friends. She was a hugger. She was quick to trust and forgive. Those who knew her thought it so fitting that her middle name was joy, because she was joyful and caring.

That girl is gone. Sundays feel like an obligation, worship is empty. She has trouble caring about anything at all. She spends time with family and friends, but rarely shares her heart. She finds hugs awkward now. She is skeptical, and avoids people whenever she can. She has lost her joy, and is terrified that she will loose what little hope is left.

Almost 5 and a half years of infertility have changed me in ways so drastic that my own mother has asked where I have 'gone'. I used to enjoy life. I used to be happy. These days, I trudge though life, wishing it would just stop already. I am surrounded with everything I want, but can't have. Watching people take for granted something that seems to miraculous to me, as if it were nothing. How have I become this person? A person who's most 'whole' feeling moments are when she holds her 10 month old niece and can for a second feel like she has something to live for?

That is the most honest I have been (other than with DW) for a long time.

**Lack of sleep tends to remove my inhibitions. (I literally act like a drunk if I'm tired enough.. but ironically just get tired when I drink)

Time for me to try to fall asleep before 2am for a change.

HSG

2009-09-03T11:16:00.004-06:00

I am awful at blogging! But oh well! Better late than never right? I'll skip all the gong show of being fired, and my lovely trip to Vancouver, and get down to business about the fertility stuff. While in Vancouver, I got to start taking my Prometrium (aka progesterone) pills to induce AF, but while on them, AF decided to come on her own, instead of after. So I stopped them 2 days early, and called to book my HSG for September 1st at 8 am. (they only book mon-fri at 8 am) I returned home late on August 28, and had a lovely weekend with. Monday the 31st, I started my doxycycline to help combat the possible infection from the HSG.

Left to right: Orange pills are Doxycycline, Blue pills are Naproxen, & the White balls are the Prometrium.

Tuesday, September 1st

4:45 am: After a restless 4 hour sleep, I got up, got dressed, and rushed out the door by 5:05 am

5:20 am: Picked mumsie up after getting gas and a bagel, off to Calgary

6:00 am: Took my Naproxen (anti-inflammatory) and Doxycycline

7:20 am: Arrived at Foothills Hospital, took my motrin and went inside to wait.

7:50 am: Switched into a super sexy gown and robe, ushered into a separate waiting room.

8:25 am: Time for the HSG. It sucked. No sugar coating it, it was awful. TMI ALERT! I laid down under the xray machine thingy, and had the very typical gyno visit tool inserted. That I've had enough times that it wasn't to bad. Then came the cervical 'cleaning'. Holy CRAP! It felt like my cervix was being scrapped with a wire brush, twice! Next Dr. Wong inserted a catheter into my uterus and the cramping was insane. I did a whole lot of deep breathing, and waited impatiently for it to end. Dr. Wong informed me during the procedure that I have a normal 'heart' shaped uterus, and I saw for myself that the dye was exiting one of my tubes. I couldn't tell from the crazy xray screen where the other one was even located, but when it was all said and done, Dr. Wong said as I exited the room that "everything looked good!"

I have to admit, after a 'Praise the Lord' came the, oh crap! That is one more thing that isn't wrong, so what the eff is wrong? I go in September 28th for my next appointment, but am seriously considering calling in to see if they have a cancelation, if I can get in sooner. Because I really want to get start on the hormone therapy asap.

Specialist? Or just special?

2009-08-13T23:39:00.000-06:00

Well, the day finally arrived! August 7th was the day we met with our fertility specialist. DW and I were out at Camp Harmattan, where DW was on the worship team all week. I joined him after work Thursday. Bright and early Friday morning, we got up, and headed to Calgary! After a quick stop at the special sperm lab, we headed to Phil's for breakfast, while we waited for our 1pm appointment. So say I was nervous would be an understatement, I had been making myself ill for the past two days, upset stummy, threw up once, but mostly just felt nasty. DW on the other hand , was excited.

At 12:45 ish we were ushered into a small exam room with a table, 3 chairs, and a lovely exam bed with stir ups. Weird meeting room. Anyways, the super friendly nurse gave us a wee bit of info, then in came Dr. Joseph O'Keane. He had the weakest hand shake EVER! Totally wierded me out.

Anyhooo... This is the skinny. After a quick glance at my info, and having me repeat all the info I had just filled out, the Dr. decided I have PCOS because I don't ovulate. I do not have cysts, and I did not respond to Metformin, so I'm a little confused but schmutever! He told me to absolutely NOT gain any more weight, after I told him I had lost over 15 pounds this year. And then after asking me how many weeks since my last period, and me repeating, oh maybey 6 times, that I was on CD28, he decided to give me a prescription for a drug similar to provera (which I have been on) but the name escapes me right now, and I'm to lazy to go look at it. I am to start taking it tomorrow, to induce a cycle in 10 days. Then comes the fun part! On CD6-10, I am to have an HSG (or Hysterosalpingography)! I am so not looking forward to this, but am excited to see what the results are.

The appointment was about to end when we realized we didn't know DW's swimmer test results. The nurse said everything was great, 'Champion' in fact! So YAY for me being the whole problem! I also got to hit the lab up and loose a it of crimson goodness. The nurse taking my blood LOVED my star tattoos, in fact she called the rest of the staff in the lab to check them out. Lacombe nurses HATE my tattoos and grumble every time I come in. Oh well, guess the big city is more accustomed to body mods.

That is the low down. Next appointment: TBA (for the HSG) but should be sometime around the 31st to 3rd... which means I shall get AF on my vacation to BC... seems to be a pattern there. Next appointment at the clinic (for test results and such) September 28th!

Welp, time for bed!

Lindsay Comes to Alberta

2009-08-03T18:39:00.007-06:00

Once upon a time... I went to New Zealand, lived for a year, and made amazing friends! One of those amazing friends came to visit me for 4 days. July 30-August 2, I had the JOY of spending time with my nut ball friend.

Eating delish food at O Joe's. hmmm Sweet Potato Fries!

Isn't she gorgeous? I heart her mucho!

Nom Nom! Tasty asian salad we made

Oh Center Stage: Turn it up.... was 'Bangin' and totally 'Dope'!

A sampling of some of the awesome movies we watched...

Our 'sexy' movie night outfits! haha

Car Show in Red Deer.. heaps of hot vehicles.. I'm a sucker for the flat black beauts

Demo Dinner.. so gorgeous!

Purty lights!

After the car show, we watched 'The Ugly Truth' with Gerard Butler & Katherine Heigl.

Road Trip to Edmonton Airport to drop Lindsay off.

Awesome thrift store purchases.. we rocked out to HSM soundtrack on the roadtrip

Sigh... Ontario is WAY to far away!

Two of my favorite Little Ones

2009-08-03T18:16:00.002-06:00

July 11, 2009

2009-08-03T17:57:00.004-06:00

DW and I went on a mini road trip to watch UFC at a friends place near Caroline. This was my random shot on my way home alone (ditched him, so I could hang out with Roberto)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE CANOLA!

Fish Hatchery..sans fish. But quading to it was super fun

Gorgeous flowers

Doesn't that look fun? haha They didn't actually ride like this, it was a pose!!

Egads!

July 5, 2009

2009-08-03T17:33:00.004-06:00

We went to the Calgary Stampede with DW's familia. I didn't take a huge amount of photos, but here are a few! Was a warm, fun filled day, followed by a lovely family dinner for my nephew's 1st birthday.

Love the contrast in this photo! Polka dots & Skulls, Curls & Mohawk

Cowgirls!

Both girls LOVED the rides

Cutest Cowgirl at the Stampede

Mini Update

2009-07-16T16:48:00.005-06:00

I am currently trying acupuncture again, and I still love it!

As most of you know, I have a very very irregular period, which basically only appears with help, but I am sick of taking provera and the likes just to get my period! I have had 3 sessions (1 per week) with my new acupuncturist (Andrea), as well as taking 2 different TCM herbs (4 in the am, 4 in the pm). On CD 86, which happened to be appointment #2, I got spotting (which was almost miraculous, for me!) I had appointment #3 yesterday, am currently on CD 6, and starting a different uterine tonic herbal plan tomorrow. Hopefully I will be one of those people who conceive thanks to acupuncture, but for now, I'm super happy to be having AF visiting, thanks to acupuncture!

In other news:

Yay! I finally have a consultation with the Regional Fertility Program in Calgary! I'm very excited to *hopefully* get some answers!

Git-R-Done

2009-06-06T12:39:00.002-06:00

I love productive days!

My family has early bird & sleeper genes. I teeter between dad's early bird genes, and mum's sleeper genes. But if I get into any kind of routine, even if only for a week or so, my body adapts to it, and this week I have been getting up at 6 am each day.

Today was designated 'sleep in' day. DW decided to skip class, we stayed up late watching a movie and talking, and snuggled into a very chilly bed around 12:30 am. I was wide awake by 7:30! And being the amazing wife I am, I decided to do something different and let DW sleep until 10:30 am! I did my yoga, emptied the dishwasher, loaded the dishwasher, made the grout, and when DW finally got up, we grouted the bathroom tiles. Next up? Farmers Market! Followed by way less exciting stuff like washing the grout, and heaps of cleaning/mowing.

I love weekends that are productive! I find the week is just to hectic and tiring to get much done. So today shall be a lovely catch up day :) And seeing as the lawn has not been mowed until just after may long. Because we have only had light drizzle once or twice since the last snow... we decided not to cut out grass, because frankly, it would have to be watered every day to keep it from its impending doom. (and I'm ridonkulously cheap) Today things shall get done! YAY

Copycat

2009-05-26T20:53:00.004-06:00

So, I have decided to be a copy cat.. My SIL is doing an awesome blog on her progress as she changes to a healthier lifestyle. I think it is a great idea, so I am going to do it also! Only, I'm going to do it as a private blog. If you are curious, and want to follow along, let me know, and I'll invite ya to view it, otherwise... You won't know what is going on!

Basically, I intend to cover my attempt to loose weight, by eating healthier, living more active, and beating my husband (aka, boxing) If I'm feeling real brave, there may even be embarrassing photos! I am going to record what kind of food we eat, what kind of money we pay for it, what kind of exercise I'm going to be doing, etc etc etc

http://less-jilla.blogspot.com/

poor neglected blog...

2009-05-14T18:45:00.005-06:00

Holy MOSES! (Or "Whoa oh Mo" as the munchkin says it! haha She is funny)

Life i so busy in the wee town of 'The Comb'! How do so many find tome to blog? I don't have kids, only work 40 hours a week, and I just can't seem to find the time! Maybe they have crazy quick wits? Or Are super quick typers? Either way.. I think it may be time for me to get myself a little laptop (or at least an iTouch) so I can blog when I have free time at work. Because giving up time with DW or my nieces? Unacceptable!

So here is my life, broken down into a few sorta random categories! And covering most of what has been going on since I last blogged!

Celebrating

April 26 was my golden birthday! This year is also the year daddy is exactly double my age. Last year, mumsie was double my age. To celebrate, I had a 'Princess' theme party! It was fun! We wore dresses, we colored, we ate cake, and chatted. It was lovely to just hang out with a bunch of my favorite females! (Although, due to my ahh lovely lady lumps, my dress ended up looking a little more bar star than intended!)

May 1st was the our 5 year anniversary! Holy CROW! 5 freakin years already! I wear it won't be long and we will be celebrating 50 year! Anyhooo.. we watched X-men Origins: Wolverine! And of course, what date night wouldn't be complete without sweet potato fries? (and Rob joined us for the movie haha) Not the most exciting night, but money is tight, and just spending time together is a bit of a rarity these days.

Drinking

I LOVE CRACK! (aka Tim Horton's Iced Capps) Frak they are delish! And thankfully, not to ridiculously priced either. ($3.14 for a large) Plus, we don't have a Starbucks or a Second Cup in 'The Comb'. 40 minute drive for a more expensive iced drink? No Thanks!

I also have started this wierd thing. Mumsie has been reading about this Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) cleanse of sorts. Basically I drink a warm 'tea' 3 times a day, with 1 tsp of ACV and 1 tsp of raw honey. Sorta like the taste honestly. DW hates it! He even hates the smell! haha but I am being the pinea gig and seeing what it does (if it does?) Maybe I'll start growing chest hair, or another arm? (That would be handy! har har har) OR maybe I'll actually feel more energized, and full of potassium?

Playing

Halo Wars! Seriously? Me? Playing a halo game? Tis true! I am pretty much an addict! DW has talked about an intervention even! But, apparently... I'm a natural! (Not like Randy 'THE NATURAL' but still...) I will play it every waking moment, unless I am stopped, or sidetracked. I LOVE IT! The other night, after smashing the opponents, my team mate blurts out 'I have to ask! Are you a girl?' To which I reply, after a chuckle to myself, 'Yes, yes I am! I like to hijack my husbands live account.. pretty much every night' His response? 'He is a lucky man!' (and he repeated that phrase at least two more times during our conversation) haha totally made my night!

Reading

Now that I have finished reading Twilight for the 2nd time, I am on a, ahh mild, vampire kick! I basically am looking for ANYTHING I can find! I have searched high and low for my 'fix', which is so silly, because I know it won't fill the void...

First up, The House of Night series, by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast. 5 books about a finishing school for vampires. Not bad, definitely a different take on the normal mythology. Not exactly something I would let my pre-teen daughters read (which is the age group it is marketed for *hangs head in shame*)

Next on the docket, The Night World series, by L.J. Smith. 10 books in this series. (still haven't found the 10th though) Also an interesting take on vampire mythology. Although, this series also deals with werewolves, shape shifters, and witches. As long as you don't mind that each book is a 'love' story, and all ends pretty much the same. Night world character finds human soulmate.

Currently I am reading The Mortal Instruments series, by Cassandra Clare. Just started it, so far so good. Although a lot more weird types of characters to figure out. But I am getting into it now.

On a totally NON-VAMPIRE related note, My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult, is a really good book. I cried! Not overly surprising, because I cried during the preview for the movie (based on the book, due out June 26) That is right.. I cried during a frakkin preview!

Watching

In theater: 17 Again, Wolverine, Star Trek, and Ghost of Girlfriends Past. First three.. LOVED them! Ghosts...I could take it or leave it. Had some funny moments, but really.. just annoying.. who wants to be with someone who had sex with that many women before you? No Thanks!

DVD: Slumdog Millionaire. Amazing!

TV: Soaps (YIPES!) @ work but the drama is INSANE! American Idol & Dancing with the Stars. DW and I have learned that it is really hard to to find shows worth watching, when you want to watch them on dvd?

Snuggling

Munchkin & Little Bear. Seriously, could they get any cuter? I think not!

Munchkin is 4 months from her 3rd birthday. She knows her alphabet now, and knows all the sounds. She can also tell you which letter a word starts with. She does things thing when you ask her a word. For example, if you asked her what letter papa starts with, she sometimes will say 'p' OR she will say "Not 'd', not 'e', not 'j'." then will say 'P!' really excitedly! Freakin adorable! Plus, she is positive that DW's name starts with a 'W'. In her world, he apparently goes by his last name. Her favorite activity? Stickers with Nana, and spotting motorcycles. She loves that there are heaps on the roads on sunny days.

Little Bear is 5 months old now, and her newest trick? She is almost sitting up all by herself. And she wants big people food. She is now on rice cereal and loves it! When she sees that rice goo getting stirred up, she makes little fists, and starts shaking in excitement. She has ridiculously adorable chubby cheeks, and LOVES her uncle Robbie!

Welp, that is what I am up to. I guess it isn't to long winded, if you consider how long it has been since my last blog.

Where I'm at....

2009-05-06T00:04:00.001-06:00

Okay, so this video is a little bit on the cheesy side... but it conveys the message of where I'm at right now. I promise I will write a REAL blog entry soon! Life is crazy hectic, and Halo Wars is SUPER addicting!

Work-oholic? Not by choice!

2009-04-09T22:44:00.004-06:00

After yet another GONG show 10 hour day at work, I am home and ready for bed.

Thankful Thursday

Edwardian Script (see above), doesn't it look like what a certain vampire's cursive would?

Bedtime

My personal trainer (aka DW)

Job security... even if only for myself right now

Stupid/cheesy movies (such as Flicka, which I watched today)

Ryan, from the OC.. aka Ben, on Southland (new series) (real name: I'm too tired to care/google)

It's still Tuesday! Whew!

2009-03-24T21:27:00.003-06:00

I think this shall be the last time I use that ugly picture... I just need to organize my time better, and make a new one!

Here's 10 of the yoga moves I did this morning! (how exciting eh? haha)

Forward Fold (like a thousand times! sheesh)
Warrior 1
Warrior 2
Pyramid Airplane
Pigeon
Cobra
Plank
Butterfly
Seated Straddle
Triangle (I am not sure why, but I LOVE this one!)

Any suggestions for ten on tuesday, feel free to comment!

Forgetful am I

2009-03-16T20:39:00.003-06:00

So, I missed Thankful Thursday, because I worked from 8am-4pm, then rushed home to get beautiful, headed out to a stagette, and didn't arrive home until 11pm. Twas a long long day, and Friday wasn't any shorter. Work, movie night with my poor sickly Tanya, not home til almost 12, only to get up early to get ready for a wedding, which I was at all day Saturday. So, I decided Sunday was a delightful day for a 'hermit' day! It was productive, relaxing, and I finally got my picture frames hung! YAY! And now it is almost tuesday, and I shall hopefully get my 10 things up at some point tomorrow!

Time to go ride my exercise bike, while watching DW play halo wars. (ridiculously addicting to watch!)

10 things, times 2, plus 1....

2009-03-10T23:22:00.003-06:00

Your Other Half

Okay, so this one is really fun... and may even be a challenge! How much do you know about your significant other? Fill in the answers after you copy and paste it, then tag your friends. For extra fun, ask your spouse to verify your answers, or flip it around and let them answer and post it. See how many you get correct!

Have fun....

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what's on? ahh more likely the computer, watching something UFC related

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? If it isn't a caesar salad, then ranch

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Raw onions

4. You go out to eat. What drink does he order? Coke, no ice

5. Where did he go to high school? Kamloops Christian School

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10.5 or 11 (we can share shoes! Ridiculous! I even have a video of him 'dancing' in the wedges I wore in a wedding)

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? hmm probably anything Halo, he isn't the 'collector' so much, I am!

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? hmm does pulled pork count?

9. What would he eat every day if he could? filet mignon with sautéed mushrooms

10. What is his favourite cereal? Mini Wheats or Honeycomb

11. What would he never wear? Butt-less chaps

12. What is his favorite sports team? Calgary Flames

13. Who did he vote for? Harper, I reckon

14. Who is his best friend? Other than his delightful wife.. his 'mistress' Justin.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Put myself down.

16. What is his heritage? I do believe he is mostly English!

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? DQ Ice Cream cake, but he would settle for my grandma's fabulous chocolate cake, with boiled white icing.

18. Did he play sports in high school? ahh he skateboarded a little

19. What could he spend hours doing? anything mma. Or Halo.. he loves him some good six!

20. What is the one unique talent he has? He is freakishly good at pretty much everything he tries, except maybe the more ahh domestic things.

21. What do you envy about him? His stupid genetics... He does not gain weight, even if all his diet consists of is chocolate and chips.

Okay, so it isn't Thursday anymore... big whoop!

2009-03-06T07:32:00.002-07:00

Thankful Thursday

I am SO stinking thankful it is FRIDAY!!!! Only 8 more hours, and I have some freedom! HUZZAH!

I have a sink!!! I HAVE A SINK! No more tub dishes!! Ohh Life is good!

I found new books to read... I don't LOVE them, but they are helping work pass by faster! It is the House of Night series by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast. A little to much like vampire meets witch, with a good dose of cult thrown in. I am a vampire lore snob, and thusly, lore that isn't along the same lines as what I already love, is redonkulous! Seriously, they spell vampire, vampyre! What is that? Sure, every time I read it, it reminds me of story time with Andrew, but still.. come on!

I fell in love with Second Cup's Chai Latté, made with soy! Oh my lanta! So good! I have never much liked Second Cup before, probably because my darling Lindsay introduced me to Starbucks' Caramel Frappuccino in New Zealand. And frankly, SC's chillers, just didn't compare. Then I tried the Chai Latté! I have been getting a soy chai from Starbucks since NZ also, thanks to my adorable roomie Anna. DW thinks they taste terrible. But we both love the SC Chai Latté!

EEKS! I'm going to be late for work!

Ten Again... the whinge edition!

2009-03-03T21:34:00.003-07:00

So I really have NO idea what my ten shall be today. I'm in a piss poor mood after trying to get our taxes ready to go, and paying a frack load of bills. So how about a list of ten things I am SO not wanting to deal with right now?

Taxes! YUCK
Drew starting a new job tomorrow (YAY and AHHH at the same time)
Bills
OPK testing everyday, just incase this cycle actually does what a cycle is to do!
Work.. supervisor quit.. aka I'm stuck doing her share of the work for way less $$
Cleaning my house
Winter
Broken gel nail.. that I just got on Saturday!
Exercising by myself.. seriously, so boring!
Being awake! It's not even 10 p.m., and I'm SO done! So I am going to bed and putting this craptastic day behind me!

My Album Cover

2009-02-27T07:43:00.003-07:00

YOUR ALBUM COVER

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random”

or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”

or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. (make sure you hit the new random quotations button at the bottom)

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”

or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together (http://www.picnik.com/) works well, online.

5 - Post it with this text in the “caption” and TAG the friends you want to join in.

2009-02-26T18:38:00.005-07:00

Thankful Thursday

that I can read a book more than once, and still enjoy it (I'm currently re-reading 'New Moon' and although majority of Twilight fans are big Edward fans, I have to say, I like me some Jacob! I LOVE the Edward/Bella relationship, and wouldn't change it, but I sure do like Jacob!)

Vampire movies/tv shows/books! What can I say, I love vampires!! haha My brother and I have seen MANY a cheesy vampire movie, and I just love it! Who doesn't love Angel and Spike? Come on... David Boreanaz? To quote my sister "There is just something so intriguing about him!"

Spring! I am so looking forward to the mud and puddles, the fresh clean small, the green starting to emerge! I REALLY hope my iris and daffodils bloom this year! I dug up and separated the roots of my iris plants, and am not too sure they lived heh

SO excited! They are so pertyful!

God's amazing faithfulness! I know right now I should be crazed.. DW got laid off, and my income can't cover all of our expenses, but I know God is faithful! Even if we have to sell our house, or my car, I know that we will be okay! My daddy quoted me a great verse out of Isaiah yesterday when I told him about DW.

Isaiah 26:12 (New International Version)

LORD, you establish peace for us;

all that we have accomplished you have done for us..

CD3!! Finally! A new one! An 82 day cycle was a little depressing!

As insane as this probably sounds, DW being laid off! We actually got to spend some non-weekend time together! Wowzah!

Having my tile almost finished! I think I may have used this one already.. but I'm still thankful it's almost done! The only reason it isn't done, is because I'm being lazy. Plus I'm hormonal and cramptastic! Ohh speaking of which...

Super Strength Motrin!! Tis wonderful! haha TMI ALERT! TMI ALERT! As a teen I NEVER got cramps... then I got married, got an abnormal cycle, became infertile, and now on the very rare occasion I actually menstruate, it hurts like stink! And is preceded by 1-2 weeks of crazy boob pain! I could go on with my other 'lovely' side effects of being a female but I shan't... Why do guys get it so easy? Seriously!

Off to watch Bones now! And who wouldn't wanna see this photo again.....

*sigh* I so have a married lady crush on him!

All about DW

2009-02-24T19:11:00.007-07:00

To semi-copy some random blog I read today, I'm writing a list of ten things my husband does!

Fills my water bottle for me, 99% without any complaint and without being asked.
Plunges the toilet whenever it is needed, regardless of who plugged it.
Tidies the covers before bed, because he knows I LOVE getting into a neat bed, but think it's silly to make it in the morning.. NO one else sees our room, so why bother?
Let's me have the garage, even though he works WAY harder, and I have command start. But Sven is still my new baby.. and I'm scared he will end up like DW's car.. (stolen license plate, broken window, stolen hub caps.. which were silly cheap skull ones!)
Scratches my back, even if he is mostly unconscious! Itchy backs run in the family on my mum's side... and I always seem to get it in the most impossible to reach spot!
Tidies the house with me, because he knows I get bored doing it by myself
Thinks everything I have ever made him (food) is the best tasting thing he has ever had!
Loves me even though I am ridiculous 99% of the time. Most men deal with a couple of days a month where their woman goes a little ahh emotional? With my lovely out of whack hormones combined with years of infertility, he NEVER knows when I'll end up bawling sitting on the steps, or if he will wake up to me sobbing in the middle of the night. Yet he would never say I'm crazy! (unless you were talking about HSM.. he thinks I'm crazy on that subject)
He encourages me in whatever I am doing, whether it is getting a new sexy tattoo, getting (and sometimes quitting) a job, or trying to loose weight. He is pretty much awesome!
He works incredibly hard 4 nights a week to achieve his goal of MMA fighting! He is a machine! And somehow enjoys all the hard work! Weird eh?

2009-02-19T08:34:00.002-07:00

Thankful Thursday

That it is almost the weekend!!

I get to go to Edmonton with my family this weekend

I saw Kris this week! I love that guy!

My tile is almost done!!! Just a few more cuts, and grout!!! I'm so excited!

My work is WAY less stressful this week! YAY for clients gone with family!

My moose shorts! They are cute!

It is almost spring! I'm so ready to be done with the itchy dry skin!

HSM 3

2009-02-18T07:23:00.002-07:00

So, HSM 3 came out yesterday, and I SO bought it, with the digital copy. So if I get my new ipod in May, I'll be able to watch it anywhere! haha I am such a dork!

In other news, mom and I are halfway done gluing the tile in my kitchen and bathroom! HUZZAH! Next comes grout, then a kitchen sink!!! WOOT! I have so missed having running water in my kitchen! hehe

Ten on Tuesday

2009-02-17T21:44:00.005-07:00

Random Dreams (as always, in no specific order)

Get pregnant
Adopt
Become more Christ-like
Open a coffee shop
Own a house with a bathroom on the same floor as my bedroom!
Live on an acreage
Travel with my husband, pretty much anywhere outside of Canada
See Andrea & Lindsay more often!
Get DW a new vehicle, he deserves it
To be happy with my physical appearance

Tis Thursday!

2009-02-12T11:05:00.003-07:00

Thankful Thursday

Just a few things I am über thankful for!

Impromptu family suppers/gathers at the 'rents.

Grapes being on sale! HUZZAH for cheaper fruit!

Loosing about 10 pounds so far this year.

the Munchkin, jeepers she is adorable! She has a 'crush' on DW, and is so hilarious when he is around... grinning shyly, saying 'Hi Dew' randomly. Totally HILARIOUS!

Munchkin's love for the HSM soundtrack, she was dancing to 'Now or Never' last night, and trying to get 'Wahbie' (aka Uncle Robbie) to dance with her! Seriously, she is hilarious! I could write a whole post on just how adorable/funny she was last night!

Chiropractors - Not only have then done heaps for my dad, myself and DW. Munchkie is now seeing 'Dr. Jack' and it has improved her walking sooo much!! YAY

Ten on Tuesday

2009-02-10T10:52:00.005-07:00

Ten Movies I want to see: (in no specific order)

17 Again
Fanboys
I Love You, Man
Xmen Origins: Wolverine (DW and I are watching this for our 5 year anniversary! haha)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Push
All About Steve
The Ugly Truth
Startrek
The Proposal

Forgetful Friday

2009-02-06T07:12:00.005-07:00

So, yeah.. its a day late, and apparently I sucked a blogging this week. Probably because I was worried sick (for reason's I shall not explain on my blog), and drugged up because I was also sick... Still am! I am just about over the loveliness of having a double ear infection, and bronchitis! YAY me! Without further ado,

Thankful Thursday

Buckley's cold & Sinus Liquid Gels!

Twilight Soundtrack

Free date nights thanks to icoke!

A steady income (x2 even!!)

Cheesy musicals like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

My love for "strange" foods, like spaghetti squash, chick peas, and rye crispbread!

My Stott Pilates mat, it is trés comfy!

Welp, time for my 'Restrictive Procedures' training! Doesn't that sound exciting? haha

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-29T07:00:00.003-07:00

It is that time again!

Thankful Thursday

Just a few things I am thankful for this week:

My husband still having a job after a round of layoffs!

Being approved for a $20,000 RRSP loan

Snuggle time with my little bear

My Wii

My husband loving me for me, even with all my incredibly cheesy interests.. I love anything Twilight or HSM related!

Jillandrea

I know I said Sven last week, but I really am SO thankful for a car that runs well, and runs reasonably cheap!

Finding new and entertaining tv shows... Eli Stone is HILARIOUS!

Tuesday already...

2009-01-27T07:31:00.002-07:00

Where in the world did the weekend go? Although a fun one, it was jam packed with:

Driving to Calgary Friday morning
Lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in MONTHS
Playing Lego... well Lego Batman on the Wii
Sleeping over at DW's brother's place
Visiting with Grandma (dad's side)
Crave Cupcakes! yummy!
U of C Dino's game
Lunch
A big ol' family gathering at Grandma's (mum's side) celebrating my cousin, who recently won 2 Gold medals for Canada in the World Grappling Championship in Switzerland. Click here to see her amazing flying arm-bar win against the US.
Drive home from Calgary
Watch one episode of Eli Stone
SLEEP!

Then work.. which is pretty much always a bit of a gong show these days! heh Now it is back to the daily grind. Work, cooking, cleaning, exercise, and trying to get enough sleep to function the next day.. all while wishing it was warm outside! Ohh how I miss the sunshine, and being able to wear flippers (aka flip flops) without loosing toes!

Welp, tis time for my morning exercise!

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-22T20:30:00.004-07:00

I have decided to join up with all the bloggers in the world doing theme entries. So I decided to start off with Thankful Thursday! Without further ado....

Thankful Thursday

first edition

I am thankful for

My husband

My parents - they are amazing role models

My car

A job I (usually) enjoy

Spark People - it is totally helping me with my fitness goals

Having running water! Oh my goodness, I so take running water for granted!

A Challenge....

2009-01-15T20:14:00.003-07:00

So I was blog surfing today, and found a challenge on a blog that looks perfectly applicable to me right now! So, I am going to do it! Probably faster than said challenge, but I'm going to use the basic principle and make it my own!

Check it out!

1 Corinthians 7:5 Challenge

A few of my...

2009-01-04T22:23:00.020-07:00

favorite things....

randomized!

Munchkin

My little Bear

Strange Family Portraits

Mummy/daughter trip to Great Falls, Montana

(yes, it really was taken this way!)

Sweet Pumpkin Carving

Big Bro & scary me

My Little Pony

My brother and his family!

Silly Sisters

Also Montana Trip

My husband getting munchky kisses

Adorable Niece & brand new Nephew

Beautiful Ballerina

Crazy Days.. Fabulous Hair

Did I mention Fabulous Hair?

JillAndrea

Aren't we HOT?

My Super Duper Extra AWESOME Parents

Daddy & Mumsie

Tattoos

(and the meanings they can carry!)

Holy Smokes!

2009-01-04T19:26:00.003-07:00

It's 2009 already!?!? Egads! Where the hecla did 2008 disappear to?

So, my year in review... Not to shabby! Definitely had it's ups & downs!

Some HIGHS of 2008

Claire's birth! Oh my goodness! She is just too adorable! Now I have 4 nieces!
Acquiring a job I actually enjoy! (over 3 months there already! wowza)
Mumsie/daughters trip to Great Falls, Montana!
Painting my bathroom red! LOVE it!
Drew & I both turned 25, which means our car insurance went down this year! Always a plus :o)
Spending more time with Drew's brother and his lovely wife.
3 weeks in B.C. with Becky and her family (which grew while I was there, see below)
Being part of a home birth!! So neat! Plus.. first nephew! Boo yeah!
Got a new tv.. which is HUGE and awesome!
Family camp in August = spending heaps of time with Tanya!
BSB Concert with Beaker
Drew and I started praying together HEAPS more
Paid off one credit card!
NKOTB concert with Beaker, Tanya and Stephanie
Read the Twilight series
Saw Twilight twice in theaters (in the same weekend)

And a couple lows

Drew's car being broke into
Our house almost being broke into
Pretty much everyone I know getting pregnant
Babies EVERYwhere! (which I love!! but tends to hurt like bloody hell somedays)
Drew being gone for the last week of December (and the first week of 2009)
One unsuccessful cycle on Clomid.

I love beginnings. A new year leads the way for new goals, new ambitions, new dreams. I now have a starting point. Screw 2008. All the 'resolutions' that weren't met are wiped clean. The lack of sticking to a diet, the lack of exercise, the over spending... GONE! (sadly the debt stays though haha) Now we can hope anew!

What I 'HOPE' 2009 holds

Budgets being stuck to
Credit Card debt paid off in full!
Meal plans made up and actually implemented
Spiritual renewal
A new home, one that is a peaceful place for me, that is not just a house
A renewed hope in the future.
That my womb at long last would be filled.

Happy New Year one and all! May your cup runneth over!

Fertility Schmertility...

2008-12-12T21:08:00.006-07:00

I figured I'd actually do an update on what's going on with me, instead of just ranting and raving about my little Bear!

So, I got blood work done last friday. I also got a surprise visit from aunt flow. So after a few painful days, full of comments like "Oh Mylanta!" "Is this normal?", and the always appropriate, "I'm bleeding like a stuck pig." (My brother LOVED hearing that one! haha) I got my results back on the blood taken, and ohh happy day!! I'm no longer considered post menopausal! HUZZAH! I'm actually in the follicular phase!! Which is great news! Lord willing, and the creek don't rise... I should actually ovulate this month! Which means, by the new year, there is a slim but much better, chance of me being knocked up! So, Drew and I are going to continue our nightly tradition of praying for my Ute (aka uterus) that we will conceive! YAY

So back to my little Bear... D.W. met her last night, and like the rest of us, fell in love! She is such a sweet little one! So I leave you with a extremely HOT photo of my husband!

Claire Bear

2008-12-10T20:13:00.006-07:00

Introducing Claire Mariko! She is the newest member if the clan. Born December 8 @ 11:29pm, weighing 7 lbs. She was approx. 20 inches long!

She got these from her daddy's side of the family :)
Wide awake, taking in the big world, about 12 hours old here.
Already a daddy's girl!
The adorable family! Mommy, Daddy, Little Bear and Munchkin.

Snuggles with mommy.

Daddy and Munchkin... the rather uninterested big sister! But she loved her sticker book!
Auntie B., and a very thoughtful Little Bear.
Auntie giving Little Bear kisses, while Munchkin gives her new 'baby' Abby kisses.
21 hours old, and glad to be home!

Countdown to Christmas.... part two!

2008-12-08T18:15:00.008-07:00

20 more sleeps...

And a whole lot less chance of going in the ditch for me! Huzzah! Did I mention my parents are AMAZING?
19 More sleeps, and heaps of refills for my handy utility knife! Niiiiice!

18 More.. and no more stinky fingers after chopping up garlic!

17 Sleeps to go.. and a new baby coming any day! It is going to be a swell Christmas indeedily!

Sweet! A shower caddy! Oh Mumsie, you are fun!

Music Game...

2008-12-08T16:43:00.003-07:00

Because it amuses me :o)

Music game rules...

1- shuffle ze music

2- write the first line of 25 songs

3- post and let 'em guess

4- strike out guessed songs

1-"Stand back, keep away. I'm not giving up my soul today. Evil men trying to eat at me, Is there a lesson to be learned?" - Drew, 2 points

2- "Its such a tired game, will it ever stop? How will this all play upside out of my mouth? By now we should know how to communicate instead of coming to blows." -Drew, 2 points

3-"We all came out to Montreux on the Lake Geneva shoreline. To make records with a mobile, we didn't have much time."

4-"I can not find a way to describe it. Its there inside, all I do is hide. I wish that it would just go away. What would you do, you do if you knew, what would you do?"

5-"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor."

6-"I'll try to shed some common sense, situation so intense, many questions, don't know whys & all the lies got tempers risin." -Drew, 2 points

7-"So yesterday, so yesterday... You can change your life, if ya wanna. You can change your clothes, if ya wanna." -Jené, 2 points

8 "Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough, because I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." -Jené, 2 points

9-"I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'll show you love another time. I'll be your friend tomorrow, even though you'll die tonight."

10-"Everybody's talking about the girl who went and killed the delivery man, but she looks to kind and gentle, it just doesn't stand to reason."

11-"You wanna feel, I'll let you feel, come over here, You know what love could do to you."

12-"(Seek Me, Call Me, I'll be waiting) This Distance, This Disillusion, I Cling to memories while falling, sleep brings relief and the hope of a new day. Waking the misery of being without you."

13-"You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why "why?" Santa Claus is coming to town.. gather round.." -Drew, 2 points

14-"When I'm worried, and I can't sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep counting my blessings."

15-"whoa whoa oh oh, whoa whoa oh, Boys will be Boys, hey! Whoa whoa oh oh Whoa whoa oh, Boys will be Boys!"

16-"There's something crazy, something strange about the way I'm lazy and how I go about giving my time and how I reason. Do all my problems have to do with how I reason?" -Drew, 2 points

17-"Holding my breath for a whole month, if I held your breath, at least we would touch. Keeping from you, keeps me from sleep. It's just this bad beat that I just can't keep."

18-"Night, Fields of stars above us. You pick one, we frame it with our fingers intertwined. Seeds of every generation, between our hands. And the promise to teach you the little I have learned so far."

19-"Who holds the heavens in His hands? Who made the stars by the word of His power? Who put the spirit in man, and causes all the earth to cry out glory? Glory to the Lord, Worship Him.."

20-"Whoa, whoa, Whoa, whoa...come on lets break it down, lets cause a commotion. Come on lets bring the noise restrainer to Bremerton. So what's it gonna be and who's comin with me?" -Drew, 1 point for knowing its MxPx

21-"You got a smile so bright, you know you could of been a candle. I'm holding you so tight, you know you could have been a handle. The way you swept me off my feet, you know you could of been a broom." -Jené, 2 points

22-"yeah uh, new Blaque, darkchild, darkchizzle, the jump off.. Is it true that I'm the one making you nervous? Trying real hard as bound for show press by you and your crew, that's helpless" -Jené, 2 points

23-"Come, they told me pa rum pum pum pum. A new born king to see pa rum pum pum pum, Our finest gifts we bring pa rum pum pum pum" -Drew, 1 point

24-"There's a new wind blowing like I've never know, I'm breathing deeper than I've ever done. And sure feels good to finally feel the way I do. I wanna love somebody, love somebody like you."

25-"Great is your faithfulness oh God, You wrestle with the sinners heart. You lead us by still waters and to mercy. And nothing can keep us apart. So remember your people, remember your children, remember your promise Oh God."

Countdown to Christmas....

2008-12-06T00:07:00.003-07:00

Basically, my mum is AWESOME! This is what I found on November 30th. After a ridiculously long couple of weeks (which are still in progress!) and a long weekend of first aid training, this was a pleasant surprise!
Both sides of my staircase, lined with little gifts! 24 to be exact! First Gift...
#2 - strangely enough.. had just gone on a wild goose chase all over my house looking for tape! My mum knows me so well!
C- kinda small pic.. but what gal doesn't love a utility knife? I know I DO!
Day 4 - 4.5" craft bags! haha I love it!
Due to the fact that I just worked a 12 hour shift.. Day #5 will be opened with Day 6 tomorrow! More exciting packages to open! Ohh and I wasn't the only one with a sweet surprise. My sister also got a gift countdown! Only hers is a Pooh theme.

You Think I'm Pretty?

2008-12-02T07:24:00.005-07:00

Different Music Game... just for kicks

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS, "IS THIS OKAY," YOU SAY?
Down in a crypt (He Is Legend)

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
I'll see you tonight (Huntingtons)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Stir it up (Bob Marley)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
All the way live (Thousand Foot Krutch)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Maybe This Christmas (Ron Sexsmith) (I have NO idea where this song even came from)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Hot N Cold (Katy Perry)

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
When Man Comes Around (Johnny Cash)

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Conquest (White Spripes)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Move to Bremerton (MxPx)

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
White Christmas (Kenny G)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Giddy Up (Nsync)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (Good Charlotte)

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
He is Yahweh (vineyard)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Erase/Replace (Foo Fighters)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
All I Need is You (United)

16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Try and Love again (Eagles)

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
In Another Life (Ashlee Simpson)

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Struck By a Wreckin' Ball (Nekromantix)

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Trees (Kiros)

20) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Do Not Obey (All That Remains)

21) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Heartbreaker (Pat Benatar)

22) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Lips of an Angel (Hinder)

23) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
One Day Of The Week (LaRue)

24) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Highwayman (Johnny Cash)

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Breaking the Bubblegum Image (headnoise)

26) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Jesus Generation (United)

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Star Trek - The Next Generation (Theme song)

28) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Whole Lotta Rosie (AC/DC)

29) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Turn The Clock Around (Mandy Moore)

30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
You Think I'm Pretty? (He Is Legend)

Busy Busy Busy

2008-12-01T22:39:00.002-07:00

I will do a real update one of these days.. I meet with the doctor this thursday, hopefully I will have test results next week, and then will know if the clomid even works for me..... But first I have to work (alternating between my so-called regular shift, and my supervisor's shift), clean my house, do laundry, shrink wrap all my windows, meet with the bank, go to the dentist, go to Drew's work christmas party... all while anxiously awaiting the arrival of the newest Boys' family member! Did I mention my weekend was full up with first aid training? Or that I have been rushed and busy for the past month and a half? Christmas is only 23 sleeps away, and I am SO not ready for it. My tree is up.. lights have only been on once! That is how little time I have at home these days! Welp, I'm off to clean up the kitchen, and get the bills filed, then to bed! HURRAY!

Music Game (aka copying Jené)

2008-11-26T09:58:00.009-07:00

Music Game

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Write the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let anyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly (No googling the lyrics!) (I shall use white instead, because I can't figure out the strike out thing on blogger on my mac)

1- "Thought that I'd be happy, Gonna be so happy, living life alone and never sharing anything"

-Then I met you, The Proclaimers

2- "Pride can stand a thousand trials, the strong will never fall."

-Kissing You, Romeo & Juliet soundtrack Jené + 2 points

3- "Steve walks warily down the street, with the brim pulled way down low"

-Another One Bites the Dust, Queen

4-"Grab your skateboard, leave your troubles behind, we're gonna hit the streets, there's lots of fun to find"

-Bomb the Hill, Smiley Kids

5-"All heavy laden aquatinted with sorrow, May Christ in our marrow, carry us home"

-This Road, Jars of Clay

6- "When I'm down you get me up, I'll always have you to count on"

-Undefeated, Horrorpops

7- "There's a natural mystic blowing through the air; if you listen carefully now you will hear"

-Natural Mystic, Bob Marley

8-"No greater joy is there than this, to know for what we're meant to live"

-The Hand That Hold The World, Starfield

9-"I'm talking about love! All my girls, stand in a circle and clap your hands, this is for you"

-L.O.V.E, Ashlee Simpson

10-"Well, well, everyday was filled with all the love and happiness I could find in my life"

-What Did I Get Myself Into?, Kyle Riabko

11-"16, 16 minutes left, better get it done, 16, 16, 16 more minutes, get ready, game on!"

-Now or Never, HSM3 soundtrack Jené + 1 Point

12-" Oi, lienda, Bella che fa? Bonita, bonita, Qué tal? But, Belle, je ne comprends pas francais"

-Belle, Jack Johnson Drew + 2 Points

13-"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, she felt it everyday, and I couldn't help her"

-Nobody's Home, Avril Lavigne

14-"How can you see into my eyes, Like open doors, Leading you down into my core"

-Bring me to Life, Evanescence

15-"Multiply your love through us, to the lost and the least. Let us be your healing hands"

-Multiply Your Love, Vineyard

16-Spoken intro "Well, baby, when I first saw you, we were at the hippy Rock Show..." singing starts "Looks like we made it, look how far we've come my baby, we might a took the long

way..."

-You're Still The One, Roper Drew + 2 Points, Jené + 1 Point

17-"Gravity is working against me, and gravity wants to bring me down"

-Gravity, John Mayer

18-"Never knew how much I love you, Never knew how much I care"

-Fever, Ray Charles Jené + 2 Points

19-"I like where we are, when we drive in your car, I like where we are here"

-Here (in your arms), HelloGoodbye Jené + 2 Points

20-"Oh no, I see, a spider web is tangled up with me, and I lost my head"

-Trouble, Coldplay

21-"ooh ooh when you love someone so deeply, they become your life"

-Butterfly, Mariah Carey

22-"Every welcome mat, every welcome rug, is trying hard to say what so many people over look"

-Different is Beautiful, Riley Armstrong

23-"Close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candlelight. For tonight is just your night"

-I'll Make Love to You, Boyz II Men (I can't believe no one got this one!)

24-"And what do I, and what do I, what do I need to do, to see myself in a better mood?"

-Fix You Up, Tegan & Sara Jené + 2 points

25-"When the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we'll see. No I won't be afraid"

-Stand By Me, Ben E. KingJené + 2 Points

Scoring:

Jené = 12 Points

Drew = 4 Points (but he never actually commented so.. boourns to him!)

The Clomid Experiment

2008-11-18T10:05:00.002-07:00

Well, it has now been 8 days since I started Clomid. I'm finished my 5 days worth, and am now in the... ahem 'waiting' stage. Now we wait to see if I actually ovulate or not. I sure am hoping this works out. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this stage in our marriage. The whole infertility battle sucks. With my hormones basically doing the best disappearing trick ever, and taking my sex drive with them. It has sucked! So, imagine trying to maintain a sex life, let alone one like they suggest when trying to conceive. (I'm talking every 36 hours!) I'm ready for sex to be sex again! Not trying to make a baby sex! Because as much as all the books recommend taking some time off from trying to make a baby,m and just enjoying sex again. SERIOUSLY? If I knew how to shut off the desire, oh I SO would have years ago.

Anyhooters... So, as far as I can tell... nothing is happening with Clomid. But I need to give it at least a full week more to know if I'm going to ovulate or not. So far, all I am getting is a whack load of hot flashes that wake up me all night long! But on the upside, I have some hope again! This just might work! And Drew and I are praying together every night again. He prays for my uterus and for God to open my womb so I can conceive! I love it! And we are both so excited about the idea of having a baby of our own! I can only imagine how hard the next few weeks will be if this clomid doesn't work. My SIL is due in about 2 weeks, and I have 2 friends due any time now! EEK! Please Lord, make me strong!

Time to get back to work.. aka.. crimp my hair! NKOTB is TONIGHT! I'm so excited! Our family was kind of out of the loop growing up. I had NO idea who NKOTB was until they were no more! So imagine my excitement when they announced the reunion tour! I get to live part of my youth I missed out on. But being a super sheltered home-schooled kid was amazing, and even if I was out of the loop, I wouldn't trade it for anything! Okay.. back to work! (I really am at work! What a slacker I am eh?)

Step by Step....

2008-11-07T09:00:00.002-07:00

Ohh baby! Gonna get to you girl! err.. yeah, apparently NKOTB is on the brain! 12 more days until I see them in concert though! WOOT! WOOT!

So, day 5 of the nasty tasting herbs is here, only a few days until I know if I should take the next step. And I am TERRIFIED! And excited, and SO hopeful... but mostly, terrified! After 4 1/2 years of NOTHING working.. taking the next step is so scary to me. This is my last resort. After this, it's adoption or no kids. So, monday is the big day! I already saw the doctor last week, and again this week. I have had a complete physical, I have had heaps of labs done, and I have got the prescription. I even filled it! Clomid round one is about to commence.

Speaking of doctors, my labs all came back good... except for my FSH and LH. Apparently they are so bad, the lab wrote me up as post menopausal! EEEK! Not cool! So hence the clomid! Gotta see if I will even ovulate. Stupid body.. WHY WON'T YOU JUST WORK?!?!?

I think the scary part for me is not knowing what will happen and if this doesn't work.. then I'm pretty much effed! I decided early along in this strange battle that I wouldn't go past these drugs, and I would avoid them for as long as I could. But now I'm halfway to 26, and am no closer than I was 4 1/2 years ago. There are some pros in this whole situation. I'm a useless-knowledge-ologist in almost all things pregnancy and baby related!

This weekend I have big decisions to come to terms with. It's kind of all or nothing at this point. Big changes are coming, me thinks. But gosh would it ever be AWESOME to be knocked up by Christmas, and to announce it to the whole family as a Christmas present! That is what we are currently praying for now!

The TCM journey

2008-11-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sunday I went to Edmonton for my acupuncture and cupping appointment. I LOVE acupuncture! So relaxing and peaceful! Anyhooters... about 2 months into my TCM journey now! But no dice... kinda getting a little to used to that feeling.. but as I said, I LOVE acupuncture! So its all good! But herbs... not so lovable!
Up to now, I have only had these little black pills. They are herbal, but made into pills so it is easier for us North Americans to handle. Well Sunday I was given a new adventure to embark upon. Herbs, in their most potent form! Dried leaves, seeds, bark, roots... you get the picture. And if you don't.. there are the photos! Back to the point.. The herbs are NASTY! I have to spend two hours a day boiling them to make a REALLY REALLY strong (and bitter) 'tea', which I consume twice a day.(as fast as I can, what with the involuntary shudders and such) But, its only 5 days, and I am on day 4! YIPPEE!!! So far though, still nothing! But I will give it time to work its magic! On to the photos!

Before cooking.. kind of pretty! Like... potpourri!

Boiling Away

The finished product

Tasty Eh?

Well that is the newest in my infertile adventures! There is more, but I'm thinking a new post is due. Seeing as this one took FOREVER to get the photos working properly!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!

2008-10-29T21:37:00.000-06:00

What the EFF is going on? So, I live in a small town, like 11,000 people. And yet, we seem to draw out the crazies! Since living in this house we have 'lost' a license plate, approx. 6 solar lights, and our back fence (the neighbor ran that down, it wasn't stolen). We have also had our back door kicked in (just last week even) and then tonight, my husbands drivers side window got smashed in. WHY us? Jeepers! Thankfully nothing tragic actually has come from these interesting events... just a lot of annoyance (and harassing of the fuzz)

And yet, the thing I dislike most about this house and neighborhood? We only have one bathroom! Yep, you read that right.. ONE bathroom! In a two story, 4 bedroom house! ONE! Must of been built by a man!

So, on to the info about the decision making... I went into a new doctor today for a complete physical! Again, must of been built by a man comes to mind... those are some dang uncomfortable tools they use! Anyhooters... I was given a clean bill of health (again) with no known reason why my baby maker ain't baby making. I go in Friday morning to loose a ridonkulous amount of blood, all to better know what is NOT wrong. But on the upside, this doc was actually great! And now, I'm left with the decision, to take clomid this month, or stick to my TCM. (thus far, no changes have come from the TCM)

Egads! I just want to snuggle in my bed and re-read Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. Oh well! For now, I'm going to watch Pushing Daisies with my husband, and pretend life isn't confusing and annoying tonight!

Oops.. I did it again!

2008-10-14T19:10:00.000-06:00

iYIKES!

It's been a very long time, yet again! I'm pretty much AWFUL at remembering to blog.. oh well! I guess my life isn't really exciting enough for daily posts. But here is my monthly update! haha

So, I have started my TCM, and thus far.. nothing, natta, zilch! I have been taking up to 60 pills per day for a month. Not that pills actually bother me, they totally don't. I just hoped I would at least have some sort of change happen. So far, nothing. So, TMI alert!! It has now been approx. 155 days since the end of my last period! HOLY CRAP! I think anything over a 40 day cycle is considered extreme... so, 160 days cycle? Oh dear! That can't be good! So, I continue to try the acupuncture, the pills... Hoping I won't have to resort to anything to extreme in order to get my body working again. Thankfully, the word menopause has yet to pass through the lips of the medical professionals I have seen! I think if I ever do hear that word, I will loose it! I'm not old enough for that.. I haven't even had a chance at being a mom! EEK!

Welp, I guess it is time to work on my patience again! *sigh* I'm getting sick of working on my patience! But really, what choice do I have? Go against everything my body is telling me, and try something synthetic, or continue on this path for at least a few months? Plus really, acupuncture is AWESOME!

In other news, I'm employed! I KNOW! So its been what? 3 months? And before that.. a year! haha Oh well! So now I am working, full time, with a company that works with clients who have disabilities. So far, I actually love it! I spend my days watching soaps, doing crocheting, making supper, going to the dollar store, going for coffee, watching movies.. and soon we are going to start bowling every week! HOW SWEET IS THAT? Getting paid to go bowling and to movies? Like I said, I love it! My clients are awesome, and I am totally enjoying getting to know them! Looks like I finally found a job I can stick to for a while!

Well, the count down is on! 7 weeks until I have a new niece or nephew! SO excited! I mean, the munchkin is FABULOUS! I heart her to pieces! But to hold a newborn again! *sigh* I'm so so looking forward to some prime snuggle time with the wee one! So far, the tally is split between boy and girl, with me leaning hopefully towards boy... but thinking girl is more likely at this point! Only time shall tell :)

Well that be it for now! More later.. or next month? haha

Been a while...

2008-09-08T17:47:00.001-06:00

Thought I'd at least write something. Montana was super fun! It was nice to have a girls trip. I got a Wii fit! WOOHOO! So much fun! And some cute clothing. Yay for Ross Dress for Less! So, now that summer is officially over, and I am back home, it is time for real life to actually start. That means job hunting. That means an actually job. That means a completely new diet (not a loose weight diet, a crazy-let's-see-if-this-helps-us-get-pregnant diet!), dairy free, almost sugar free, caffeine free, refine carbs free... Sound fun? And wonderful Wii Yoga! haha So I thought I would just write something, prove that I am alive. Ohh, and officially NOT pregnant! That's right.. I POAS just for fun, and no dice! So, we continue to wait, and see what God has in store for as. As my mum pointed out, September is a time of beginnings, of new stuff. So, I'm going to start something new and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, I get healthier! Oh dear, what a terrible side effect.

Wow!

2008-08-20T21:48:00.000-06:00

So, after my crazy vent this morning, I decided to head to my parents place because my absolutely adorable 23 month old niece was there. Oh she is so fun! No matter how stressed or hectic life is, she is a little ball of sunshine! So we were playing, and watching grandpa and daddy (as my dad and brother are now called by pretty much everyone) build a deck, until it was nap-time. So off she went to sleep. While it was all quiet in the house, mumsie and I discussed the up coming trip. So, we planned packing lists and boring stuff like that, when mum drops a bombshell on me. My daddy has decided to give all three of us 'girls' $1000 spending money!!! Holy CRAP!

And as if that wasn't enough crazy, I listed 3 items on kijiji today, and the most expensive one has sold! So that is another 250 bucks! Maybe my ikea furniture will sell too!

So funny how whenever I think I'm doomed, and things will never get better, something miraculous happens! God is good! I just need to make the choice to rejoice, and trust that He knows what is best!

Totally Venting!

2008-08-20T09:02:00.000-06:00

Warning: This blog post is full of venting and sarcasm! Feel totally free to skip it!

Why is it that whenever you have something to do in life, a change to make, for example, completely changing your diet, there is always SOMETHING to get in the way! ARG! I am now ready to implement the diet changes recommended in 'The Infertility Cure', but can't! We are completely broke, and can't afford a special diet. Heck, we can hardly afford KD at this point. Which means until I find a job, I can't try the special diet, can't try the chinese herbs, and can't continue my acupuncture. To top it off, my mum and sister decided Sunday would be a good day to head to Great Falls, Montana for a girls memory making trip! So the little bit of money I had saved up for Wii Fit, and the money I was able to finally get for the tickets I bought friends, is all going towards a trip to Montana, and I may have about $15 for spending! WOOT! (that was a very sarcastic woot) Plus, I'm pretty sure stress is bad for fertility too. (also sarcasm.. I'm positive stress is bad for fertility) But could I possibly get anymore stressed out right now? Why is it whenever you really really need to do something, it is so hard to do it? There is always something popping up, getting in the way! NARF! If only there was some way to make really quick cash without it being morally degrading! *sigh* Well, time to go do laundry, make up a new resume, do dishes, vacuum, and basically clean clean clean! Oh happy day!

The Infertility Cure

2008-07-25T14:55:00.000-06:00

So I decided to buy a new book. And even choose one I had never been told about. Just saw it on amazon, and said to myself, 'self, this looks intriguing!' So, I ordered it via chapters, and awaited its arrival into my otherwise 'Bills Only' mailbox. How exciting to get something that isn't depressing in the mail! The book is 'The Infertility Cure' by Randine Lewis Ph.D.

So, after reading the introduction, I was HOOKED! I probably interrupted my poor husband's movie a dozen times in about 5 pages! I'm only a few chapters in now, but I have had so many 'Whoa! That is so ME' moments. One that I really needed to hear was on page 9!

"You are NOT broken!

You are NOT deficient!

No matter what the outcome...

You are WHOLE!"

Another line that totally hit home, was at the end of a story about a couple who went through so much trying to get pregnant, only to end up in crazy debt, depressed, and still without a child. (From page 12,) "Every time someone asks them why they don't have children, she slowly dies inside." Oh, how many times I have felt that way. As if my heart is so broken it will stop working completely. But staying hopeful is so painful. Most days I just want to stop all together. To give up the dream completely. But then something happens, my mysterious Aunt Flow shows up, completely shocking me! And once again, the crazy train pulls in. The hoping, (and dreading at the same time) the negative pregnancy tests, the tears, the pain, and another few months without my aunt. Not even a hint that she MIGHT arrive.

So, although I'm not done the book, and I still have HEAPS to learn about TCM (traditional Chinese Medicine), I decided to start trying something new. I went to my first (of many) acupuncture appointment this morning. After have a couple dozen needles stuck into me, and having them twisted and such, I am once again, jumping on the crazy train, getting hopeful. Thinking, if this works.... And yet it may not. God may have totally different plans for my life. And that is what I find toughest on this journey. Trying to come to and stay in a peaceful place, where I surrender my will, and desire God's will for my life. *arg* it is seriously a moment to moment struggle for me.

Well, time to try and get myself motivated to clean my house. I'd way rather spend the remainder of the day curled up, watching season one of One Tree Hill..... Oh wistful dreams!

June 27, 2008

2008-07-21T11:58:00.004-06:00

Wow! It's been a long time since my last update. Where to start? How about June 27? PERFECT!

June 27 started out like any other day for one staying with extended family. (SIL, her hubby, and two nieces) I woke up to two very rambunctious girls, jumping between giggling and fighting with each other. Very interesting thing to wake up to for 3 weeks in a row. Especially when you are used to a completely silent house. So, I got up, had a shower, got dressed and wandered downstairs for some breakfast. Pretty unexciting eh? But it didn't stay that way for long!

While the girls ran around, and her husband got ready for work, my SIL was sitting on her birthing ball (a very common sight) at the computer, with tears streaming down her face. One look, and I knew! Today was THEE day! She was in genuine, rip you in half, labour! WOO HOO! So after sitting on the couch rather awkwardly for a few minutes, I decided to corral my 4 year old niece, and told her she needed to use her quiet voice, and play outside with her little sister (who is 2 and a half), because her new baby was coming today! And not knowing what else to do, I did some random cleaning. I happen to know how to do that! haha After a call to the midwife, a few more contractions, my SIL finally asked her husband to remove his coat and hat, because this was really and truly IT! Although he didn't seem to fully grasp that until the midwife arrived and confirmed that this truly was the day!

So, we set up the birthing pool in the dinning room, and started filling it with water. Meanwhile, the neighbor was called, and the girls went to her house, and the house got rearrange so that it would work for a home birth. I seriously had NO idea what I should be doing. I felt so incredibly useless. Thankfully the midwife had some awesome jobs for me! I was asked to get as many clean towels as I could find. And once my SIL was in the pool, and her best friend had arrived, I was in charge of boiling water to keep the pool warm. Honestly, that part totally amused me. I was boiling water! Oh, and don't forget about the towel job! So funny. It made me chuckle every time I put a new pot on to boil. Such a cliche thing to be doing eh? So, I boiled water, got gatorade ice cubes, and prayed, prayed, and prayed some more! Every contraction, all I could think to do to help, was to pray that God would give her His strength.

Meanwhile, my SIL was doing awesome! Apparently the pool was a great idea! She was able to actually be comfortable for the first time in many many months. (Due to way to much relaxin, her hips had been very very painful) She handled every contraction amazingly well. She was even able to eat a (delicious) peach white tea popsicle in between contractions! Her water broke while in the pool, and was clean! Thank you Lord! After a few hours in the pool, her midwife thought it best to move her out of the pool, and try different positions. Little did the rest of us know, my SIL was no longer progressing, and was only 6-7 cm. So, out she came. And good gravy did that look painful! After hours of near weightlessness, and mostly manageable pain, her next contraction (on the couch) was a doosie!

I took over the role of holding a heating pad on her lower back, while her bf used a ice cold cloth on her face. After a couple more awful contractions, the midwife asker her to move onto the floor, on all fours, for a few contractions, and then onto her back so she could check her progress.

Seriously, my SIL was AWESOME! She was definitely in a LOT of pain, and she wasn't sure if she could handle more, and was wanting to go to the hospital for an epidural. Her midwife got right down on her level and talked her through the pain, and said she had an other bag of waters, and that if she broke them, the baby would most likely be there within the hour. OR they could move to the hospital, and it would be a few hours at least. She also offered to show my SIL what the pressure would feel like once her water had been broken (again). Most women say that the pain gets WAY worse once your water breaks, and my SIL was quite worried about that. So after feeling how the pressure would feel, and another extremely painful contraction, my SIL decided to stay home, and have her water broke.

WOW! There was so much liquid! The midwife ended up with a soaked lap! But, the baby slipped right down, and my SIL moved over onto the birthing stool, and SIX MINUTES later, her gorgeous son was in her arms! Praise the Lord for a healthy, 10 lbs. baby boy! He was perfect! And she had done it! A 100% drug free, home birth of a 10 pounder! She was remarkable, through the entire process!

There ended up being a complication with her placenta, and she needed to go to the hospital after all. She was home the next day, and was greeted by two VERY EXCITED little girls who were very much wanting to meet their new baby brother. Who seriously, is the sweetest, most mellow baby I have ever met! He is gorgeous, and perfect, and such a little man!

Hermit much?

2008-06-25T22:21:00.000-06:00

So, I think I made a discovery about myself. I am a hermit! Ever since my battle with fertility began, I have withdrawn further and further into my little 'safe' space. My bubble basically consists of family, and friends I've had for years.

I hate meeting new people! Once you join the marrieds, it starts right away. Every new couple you meet asks the same questions -and usually during your first conversation- about having kids. Seriously, explaining such an emotional and personal issue with a stranger? NOT my idea of a good time!

-a- way to painful for me

-2- I feel inadequate or like a failure.

-c- just plain AWKWARD!

So, next time you meet new people, who aren't lugging around diaper bags, mini coats, and random McDonalds toys, DON'T ask the kid question! So many women are dealing with fertility issues these days, and bringing it up, not fun! If they are open to talking about such things, they will bring it up themselves!

Waiting...

2008-06-25T11:15:00.000-06:00

As I spend my days in Ladner cooking, cleaning, chasing (after kids) and cuddling (with my nieces, 2 & 4), while waiting for my new niece or nephew to arrive, my heart is hurting. How I long to be huge and uncomfortable like like sister-in-law is right now. To experience it all, being kicked in the ribs, the hiccups, the sleepless nights, the excitement, knowing your own precious baby is growing the developing inside of you at that very moment. And then, to feel the contractions, and know that very soon you will have your own little sweet pea in your arms. You will soon be kissing a little head, covered in duck fuzz, counting those perfect fingers and toes. What an amazing rewards after all the pain and discomfort.

For me, the hard part is not going to be the contractions, it is right now, the waiting and wishing. The countless months (or years) waiting to see those two little pink lines appear. What a funny way to find out such monumental news. News that will forever change your life, and you find out by peeing on a stick! And the stories you hear of where people choose to pee on a stick.. thankfully in bathrooms, but... at Denny's? Or Superstore? My preference would be at home for sure. Then I would feel 100% free to shout, laugh, cry, dance and of course, dream!
So far that dream of seeing those pink lines remains exactly that, a dream. After too many negative results to even keep count of, I have just stopped taking them. The deferred hope, the whispered prayers 'Oh Lord, please let this be the time! PLEASE!' Or 'Your will be done..' I just can't do it anymore. The nervous knot, the disappointment.. it was to depressing to repeat month after month. Maybe this is God's will for my life? Maybe I'm not ready? I just don't know. So, I wait.

I doubt I'm the only one feeling like this, but the struggle with infertility has taken a toll on me. I feel like such a failure. All the pressure from family for grandkids, for nieces and nephews. The pressure from friends, who seem to have memory issues, and always ask when we 'plan' on starting a family. As if we have the choice to just stop being infertile! At first, it was just hard to handle, and now, I feel like it is all my fault. I'm the one who can't conceive. (We've had the tests, no problems with the swimmers) What kind of woman am I? I don't even do the basic human functions properly! I can't give my husband a son, or a daughter! I can't give my parents grandchildren. Will I ever? How do I stop the onslaught of emotions that steamroll me at random? I'm forever battling myself, defending against the lie that this is my fault, that I am being punished for something. Why else would this be happening?

So I just keep telling myself, over and over again, I am NOT being punished, and

I AM NOT A FAILURE!

Sure, so my overies aren't working so great, but I'm okay! Emotionally retarded, but okay!

journey of hope

2008-06-23T14:46:00.000-06:00

I was born April, 1983, to amazing, godly parents. I have two big brothers, and one baby sister. We lived in many different places, and although we met many, many people, the four of us siblings always stuck close to each other. Still do.

In 2002 i jetted off on a new adventure, a new chapter of my life. New Zealand was my home for a year. I made amazing discoveries, met wonderful friends, and had exciting experiences. It was a huge time of growth and self discovery,

When I returned to Canada, I met and fell in love with a man like no other. He was the most fiercely loyal person I had ever known. DW was passionate about God, reptiles, and music. And although we were only 20, we decided we wanted to spend our lives together. On May 1, 2004 we were married before our families and friends, in a rather small, candle-lit evening service. He had a mohawk, I wore white. (With a black corset tie-up back, and hot pink flip flops.)We both looked FABULOUS!

After an interesting honeymoon in Fairmont, filled with the usual honeymoon activities, vehicles breaking down, and insane amounts of rain and mosquitoes, we started our 'life'! Working, playing, the usual. And we we decided we wanted to shirk the stereotypical attitude of our peers and start a family right away. After all, I had gotten my cycle on our honeymoon, so we could start trying right away. Only, my next cycle didn't arrive until August ('04)! And the one after that, July ('05!!!) So we started seeing doctors.

In December ('05) I was put on a drug called Provera. I was told it was to 'kick-start' my period. Only, that was not really what the drug did. So after 3 months on provera, I stopped taking it, and waited to see if my cycle would come again. It did! About once every 3-4 months. And it was never a regular cycle. Very light, and short. The doctors sent me in twice to get ultrasounds, the first one was just a regular external one, the second appointment, I got the external and a internal one. OUCH! But both showed nothing out of the ordinary. No cysts, everything looked perfectly normal. So what the heck is going on? The doctors didn't know.
In the fall of 2007 I decided to try this new drug women with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) were taking. Metformin seemed to help a little. It also helped me loose some wieght, which each docotor has said 'might' be the issue. (Of course they had NO idea what was, and still is, going on) the side effects of metformin sucked though. I could never be far from a bathroom, otherwise I'd have issues! But I won't give more details than that!

So here I am, June 2008, and my womb is still barren. My hope is still alive, but my heart hurts more than words could ever describe. My arms ache to hold my own child, to nestle my child to my breast. I feel as though my purpose on this earth is to be a mother, and yet, I am not one. And by worldly standards (aka doctors) may never be one. And my whole being is in mourning for the children I may never have. I feel so alone in this. All around me fertile women seem to mock me, with their protruding belly or their newborn babe.

Their stories of conception make me want to yell out in agony. The 'oops' conception... is always the most painful to hear. Why is it so easy for everyone who doesn't even WANT a child to get 'knocked-up', and yet, I remain childless.

How can anyone truly understand how I feel if they aren't in my same situation. I 'had' two friends who understood, until they both conceived, both miscarried, and now one of which is pregnant again. At least they know they can get pregnant... I don't even have that.

I hate to sound like a big whiner, I'm sure all my friends are sick of this subject, but I just want to know why I don't get to experience the miracle of carrying a child?!? Will I ever? How many more friends and family members will I have to watch experiencing my biggest dream in life, before its my turn? How many times will I have to hear the two worst phrases ever? (1- So, when are you going to start having kids? 2- We're Pregnant!) I truly am excited for everyone who tells me that, but a little piece of my heart breaks away each time. I don't know how much longer I can wait, before my heart is so broken it just stops working altogether! And yet.... I keep hoping!

Proverbs 23:18
'Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off!'

Psalm 27:14
'Wait for the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord!'

So, I wait. Trying to remind myself of those verses. On June 6, 2006, I got a tattoo on my wrist, of a gorgeous pink flower as a reminder, with a banner above the flower that says "Future Hope".

Random Salad

My Beautiful Blessing!

Pumpkin Spice Cookies!

Pumpkin Muffins: take 2

A {long} Birth Story: Kyra Elizabeth

Pumpkin Muffins w/ Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting

A year in review

Beginning of the end

Blessed

I love April!

Adorable Blogger Templates

25 weeks!

7 More Sleeps!

Cream Cheese Icing -the recipe!-

Grandma's Chocolate Cake - the recipe! -

17 weeks!

Update time!

2 tries later..

IUI

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

New Hair

Old Photo

Freeeeedom!

Green Grass and Cherry Blossoms

Breaking Dawn

Another year...

Round 3

Because its fun

*ahem*

Yummmmy!

10,000 Reasons...

Testing Testing 1...2...3...

Random Ramble

Life.. or something like it

HSG

Specialist? Or just special?

Lindsay Comes to Alberta

Two of my favorite Little Ones

July 11, 2009

July 5, 2009

Mini Update

Git-R-Done

Copycat

poor neglected blog...

Where I'm at....

Work-oholic? Not by choice!

It's still Tuesday! Whew!

Forgetful am I

10 things, times 2, plus 1....

Okay, so it isn't Thursday anymore... big whoop!

Ten Again... the whinge edition!

My Album Cover

All about DW

HSM 3

Ten on Tuesday

Tis Thursday!

Ten on Tuesday

Forgetful Friday

Thankful Thursday

Tuesday already...

Thankful Thursday

A Challenge....

A few of my...

Holy Smokes!

Fertility Schmertility...

Claire Bear

Countdown to Christmas.... part two!

Music Game...

Countdown to Christmas....

You Think I'm Pretty?

Busy Busy Busy

Music Game (aka copying Jené)

The Clomid Experiment

Step by Step....

The TCM journey

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!

Oops.. I did it again!

Been a while...

Wow!

Totally Venting!

ahem